1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,836
Okay, we've got power to the laser.

2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,335
I should've brought an umbrella.

3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,341
- What for? It's not gonna rain.
- I know.

4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:16,347
But with skin as fair as mine,
moon burn is a real possibility.

5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,241
That's a buzzinga, right?

6
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,880
One of my best, don't you think?

7
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,515
Howard, double-check
the equatorial mount on the laser.

8
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,685
- We need it locked on the Sea of Tranquility.
- You got it.

9
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,892
Raj, no.

10
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:34,863
Billions of dollars have gone
into inventing the Internet...

11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:39,529
...and filling it with pictures of naked women
so we don't have to peep through windows.

12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,099
It's not like that.
I'm watching someone's TV.

13
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,402
<i>The Good Wife is on.</i>

14
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,038
<i>I tell you,
this is my new Grey's Anatomy.</i>

15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,711
Leonard, what is that? What is that?

16
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,048
Relax, it's just a dirty sock.

17
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:59,891
How on earth can you say "dirty sock"
and "relax" in the same sentence?

18
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,288
Sheldon, the world is filled
with dirty, discarded socks.

19
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,463
Not my world.

20
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:11,399
You know who'd really dig
seeing this experiment? Penny.

21
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,932
I wasn't aware that lunar ranging
was her thing.

22
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,132
Although I suppose...

23
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,040
...the retro reflector left on the moon
by Neil Armstrong...

24
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:21,476
...does qualify as a shiny object.

25
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,947
Ask her to come up.

26
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,415
I don't know. It's still weird since,
you know...

27
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,418
- She dumped you?
- She didn't dump me.

28
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,989
We were just in different places
in the relationship.

29
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,785
I fail to see how a relationship...

30
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,622
...can have the qualities
of a geographic location.

31
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:40,256
Well, it's very simple. Leonard was living
in a town called Please Don't Leave Me...

32
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:44,302
...while Penny had just moved
to the island of Bye-bye.

33
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,602
Screw you, guys.
I'm gonna go see if she's home.

34
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,274
If it's not too much trouble,
I'd like to point this at the moon now.

35
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,916
Wait a second.
The good wife is crying.

36
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,776
Something's very wrong.

37
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,446
Oh, hi. What's going on?

38
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:33,108
We're up on the roof
bouncing laser beams off the moon.

39
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,285
I'm sorry, what?

40
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:38,549
It's cool. We've got a two-meter
parabolic reflector and everything.

41
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,285
- I thought you might wanna see it.
- That makes no sense.

42
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:46,296
How can you bounce stuff off the moon?
There's no gravity.

43
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,994
Oh, Leonard, this is Zack. Zack, Leonard.

44
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,070
- Hey.
- Sorry, I didn't know you were busy.

45
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,797
- Maybe another time.
- Yeah. Maybe.

46
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,875
- Hey, I wanna see this laser thing.
- Oh, what about the party?

47
00:02:57,044 --> 00:03:00,309
It's a surprise party,
doesn't matter when we get there.

48
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,039
Right.

49
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,882
Okay, well, yeah, come on up.

50
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,689
So how'd you guys meet?

51
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,158
My company designs the menus
for The Cheesecake Factory.

52
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,318
Your company?

53
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,330
My dad, but me and my sister are VPs.

54
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,332
So menus.

55
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,995
It sounds easy, but there's a lot of science
that goes into designing them.

56
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,215
Happy now? I'm moving the dirty sock.

57
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,845
Thank you.

58
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,678
Raj, keep an eye out for the other one.

59
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,022
- Hey, guys. This is my friend Zack.
- Hey.

60
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:50,186
- Hello.
- Whoa, is that the laser? It's bitchen.

61
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,689
Yes. In 1917...

62
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:57,428
...when Albert Einstein established
the theoretic foundation for the laser...

63
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,936
<i>...in his paper
Zur Quantentheorle der Strahlung...</i>

64
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:04,635
...his fondest hope was that
the resultant device be "bitchen."

65
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,244
Well, mission accomplished.

66
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,980
Let me explain what we're doing here.

67
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,552
<i>In 1969, the astronauts on Apollo 11...</i>

68
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,484
...positioned reflectors on the moon.

69
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,715
We're gonna shoot a laser
off one of them...

70
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:21,554
...and let the light bounce back
into this photomultiplier.

71
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,286
Oh, that's very cool.

72
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:27,399
One question: How can you be sure
it won't blow up?

73
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,060
- The laser?
- The moon.

74
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,232
See, now this is a man for Penny.

75
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,902
- That's a great question, Zack.
- No, it's not.

76
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,413
- Sheldon, play nice.
- It's not a great question.

77
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,780
How could somebody possibly think
we're going to blow up the moon?

78
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,979
That's a great question.

79
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:55,595
Don't worry about the moon.
We set our laser to stun.

80
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,753
Smart.

81
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:01,799
We'll see the beam when it leaves. It won't
be strong enough when it comes back...

82
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,664
- ...to be seen by the naked eye.
- Naked. Heh, heh, heh.

83
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,603
Right, funny.

84
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,448
So that device there
will measure the photons that return...

85
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:18,778
...and show it to us on this computer.
Raj, get them some glasses.

86
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,552
Cool, it's gonna be in 3-D?

87
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,962
Preparing to fire laser at the moon.

88
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,461
Make it so.

89
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,161
There it is. There's the spike.

90
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,069
Two-point-five seconds for the light to
return. That's the moon. We hit the moon.

91
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,308
That's your big experiment?
All that for a line on the screen?

92
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,908
Yeah, but think
about what this represents.

93
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,419
The fact that we can do this
is the only way of definitively proving...

94
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,854
...that there are man-made objects
on the moon...

95
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,493
...put there by a species
that only 60 years before...

96
00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,652
...had just invented the airplane.

97
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,658
What species is that?

98
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,033
I was wrong. Penny can do better.

99
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,571
- Okay, guys, thank you. It's been fun.
- Yeah, thanks.

100
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,608
- Should we invite them to the party?
- No, just keep walking.

101
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,837
He's must be very skilled at coitus.

102
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,010
I'm telling you, dude...

103
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,712
...the only way to feel better
about Penny going out with other guys...

104
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:32,222
...is for you to get back on the whores.

105
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,692
- Horse.
- What?

106
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:41,027
The phrase is "get back on the horse."
Not whores.

107
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,536
That's disgusting, dude.

108
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,068
No, it's not... Never mind.

109
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,936
He is right, though.

110
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,375
If you want, I can turn you on
to this great new dating site I found.

111
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,570
No, thanks.

112
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,216
You sure? They say
they can find a match for anybody.

113
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,614
- Have they found a match for you?
- Tons.

114
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,879
I've had, like, eight dates
in the last month.

115
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:05,047
Twelve, if you count the ones
who showed up and left.

116
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:08,125
- I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.
- Why not?

117
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,560
All right, let me restate that.
It's very heavy and I don't want to.

118
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,500
- I'll help you.
- Thank you.

119
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,562
Lift with your knees, not your back.

120
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,796
Good night.

121
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,904
You know what would be fun?

122
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,912
- Signing Sheldon up for online dating.
- Yeah, right.

123
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,141
No, think about it.
We make it an experiment.

124
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:35,118
Like when Frankenstein's monster
was lonely and he found a wife.

125
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,920
He didn't find a wife.

126
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,992
They built him a wife
out of dead body parts.

127
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,090
Okay, we'll call that plan B.

128
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,701
Coming.

129
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,133
Damn you, you rat bastard.

130
00:07:58,778 --> 00:07:59,938
Are you drunk?

131
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:03,514
Zack was a perfectly nice guy
and then you ruined him.

132
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,275
How did I ruin him?

133
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:09,821
Because in the olden days,
I never would've known he was so stupid.

134
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,793
- Come on, he wasn't that stupid.
- Yes, he was.

135
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:19,125
He thought you were
gonna blow up the moon.

136
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,294
Okay, yeah, he's stupid. Heh, heh.

137
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,800
He spent the entire night...

138
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:28,304
...bragging about how he invented
the word "appeteasers."

139
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,136
How is that my fault?

140
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,077
You have destroyed my ability
to tolerate idiots.

141
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,477
Now, come with me.

142
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,880
- Where are we going?
- We're gonna have sex.

143
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,647
Why? I mean, okay.

144
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:45,816
What's going on?

145
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,822
Put on your noise-canceling headphones,
because it's gonna get loud.

146
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,224
Ugh. Not this again.

147
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:12,044
In what universe is this "low-pulp"?

148
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,348
Good morning, Penny.

149
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,020
Do you have eyes
in the back of your head?

150
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,626
When one gets beaten up
every other day in school...

151
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,855
...one, of necessity,
develops a keen sense of hearing.

152
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,193
Incidentally, one can get beaten up
in school...

153
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:31,235
...simply
by referring to oneself as "one."

154
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:35,535
I'm making English muffins.
Would you like an English muffin?

155
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,936
Oh, thanks, I'm not hungry.

156
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:41,547
FYI, my noise-canceling headphones
proved ineffective last night.

157
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,644
- Yeah, sorry about that.
- As a native Texan, I must say...

158
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:49,255
...I've never heard the phrase "yeehaw"
used in quite that context.

159
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,087
Oh, God.

160
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,623
"Oh, God."

161
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:57,558
That I've heard on multiple occasions.

162
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,635
In what universe is that "lightly toasted"?

163
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,132
This has to be the worst day of my life.

164
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,573
Good morning, Leonard.

165
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,942
How many times
have I asked you not to do that?

166
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,318
Counting this instance?
Three hundred seventeen.

167
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,988
- Where's Penny?
- She returned to her apartment.

168
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,126
I presume to shower and vomit.

169
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,921
Not necessarily in that order.

170
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,093
Wonder why she didn't say goodbye.

171
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:36,766
Are you expecting me to offer
an explanation of human behavior?

172
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,528
I know. I thought as an outsider...

173
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,173
...you might be able to provide
a fresh perspective.

174
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:49,108
Well, I have no difficulty
believing you are not butter.

175
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:53,984
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, hi.

176
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,783
- I gotta run. Early shift.
- Okay, I'll walk down with you.

177
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,891
So last night was fun, huh?

178
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:03,722
Yeah, it must've been.
I just threw up in my closet.

179
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,488
Bummer.

180
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,065
I was thinking tonight
maybe we could catch a movie.

181
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,327
Oh, yeah, tonight's not great for me.

182
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:14,303
Doesn't have to be tonight.
I'm free pretty much always.

183
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,139
Leonard, last night was a mistake.

184
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,239
When you say "mistake,"
do you mean a fortunate mistake...

185
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,143
...like the discovery of penicillin?

186
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:24,840
Look, I'm sorry.

187
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,646
I was drunk, I was lonely, I hated Zack.

188
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,549
Can we just forget it ever happened?

189
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:32,816
No, it's pretty well imprinted on my brain.

190
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,823
Especially the whole rodeo thing.

191
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,655
Oh, God.

192
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:39,354
So that's it?
Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?

193
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,000
Look, I said I'm sorry.
Can't you please let it go?

194
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:45,331
How am I supposed to let it go?
You used me for sex.

195
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,004
Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.

196
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,910
Good morning, Leonard.
Or should I say "yeehaw"

197
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,417
- Holy crap.
- What?

198
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,854
We finally have proof...

199
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:10,689
- ...that aliens walk among us.
- Excuse me?

200
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,525
The dating site
matched a woman with Sheldon.

201
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,126
You're kidding. An actual woman?

202
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:19,430
Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.

203
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,866
Trust me, breasts doesn't
necessarily mean "woman."

204
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,907
- Since when?
- I'll show you a picture...

205
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,911
...of my Uncle Louie
in a bathing suit sometime.

206
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,547
Leonard, you gotta see this.
We found a match for Sheldon.

207
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,315
Great. Maybe she can have sex with him
and walk out on him the next morning...

208
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,220
...without so much
as a "How do you do?"

209
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,921
- Know what he's talking about?
- No. Ask him.

210
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,223
- Leonard, what?
- I don't wanna talk about it.

211
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,628
That was a lousy suggestion.

212
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,824
Whatever.

213
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:53,962
Right now, Dr. Sheldon Cooper
has to send an e-mail to his perfect match.

214
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:58,406
"Greetings, fellow life-form..."

215
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,111
If she can do it, I can do it.
If she can do it, I can do it.

216
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,080
If she can do it, I can do it.

217
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,410
I can't do it.

218
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,485
- Hello?
- Oh, hi. Hey.

219
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,818
Hi, Leslie.

220
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,258
Leonard, what're you doing here?

221
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,592
I know. It's been a while.

222
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,959
Yeah, 18 months.

223
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,330
Right. Right.

224
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,260
So how you doing?

225
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,940
- Fine. You?
- Not bad.

226
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,542
You remember
when we used to have sex...

227
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,509
...and you said it didn't mean anything,
it was just for fun?

228
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,304
Yeah.

229
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,780
Do you wanna do that again?

230
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,447
What happened? Blondie dumped you?

231
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:46,023
She didn't dump me. We were
just in different places in the relationship.

232
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,448
Right.

233
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:52,323
Anyway, apparently, it's okay to go back
to people you're no longer seeing...

234
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,467
- ...and have recreational sex with them.
- Uh-huh.

235
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,202
So, what do you say?

236
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,836
Let me think about it.

237
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,647
She's not coming back.

238
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,917
- Uh-oh. She wants to meet us.
- Not us. Him.

239
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,684
Yes, but "him"
doesn't even know about "her."

240
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,821
Well, "him" about to find out about "her."

241
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,596
Really? Us gonna tell him?

242
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,824
Who's going to tell whom about what?

243
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,900
Sheldon. Hey. Hi.

244
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,828
Your surprise confuses me. I live here.

245
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:36,332
Right.

246
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:40,036
So, listen, what are you doing
tomorrow afternoon?

247
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,681
- Be more specific.
- Four-thirty.

248
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,374
That's not afternoon. That's preevning.

249
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,944
- What?
- It's a time of day I invented.

250
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:51,454
It better defines the ambiguous period...

251
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:55,025
...between afternoon and evening:
preevning.

252
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:58,755
Fairly certain it will catch on
as it fills a desperate need.

253
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,859
Right, okay. What are you doing
tomorrow preevning?

254
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:05,800
Well, tomorrow's Saturday.
Saturday night is laundry night.

255
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:10,705
So I'll be spending the preevning
pre-sorting and pre-soaking.

256
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,811
Okay, what if I were to tell you...

257
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,106
...tomorrow at 4:30,
you could meet a woman...

258
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:18,876
...who has been scientifically chosen
to be your perfect mate?

259
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:22,216
I would snort in derision
and throw my arms in the air...

260
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,551
...exhausted by your constant tomfoolery.

261
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:27,457
But it's true.

262
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:33,459
We put all your vital information
into this dating site...

263
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,966
...answered all questions like you would
and they found a match for you.

264
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:40,264
- Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.
- Please.

265
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,307
Even assuming you could answer
any question the way I would...

266
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,411
...the algorithms used
by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.

267
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,513
That's the answer
we gave to the question.

268
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,774
"What is your attitude
towards online dating?"

269
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,583
Well, Howard wanted to write
"mumbo jumbo," but I said no.

270
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:58,087
Our Sheldon would say "hokum."

271
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,823
Come on,
where's your scientific curiosity?

272
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,930
Most of it is being applied to unraveling
secrets of universe...

273
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:09,693
...while the rest of it is wondering why
I'm having this conversation with you.

274
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,427
Okay, how about this?

275
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,937
Even Spock had a date
once every seven years,

276
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,200
He didn't date. It was pon farr.

277
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,810
His blood boiled with mating lust.

278
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,681
Why don't you start
with a cup of coffee...

279
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:26,114
...and you can pon farr
Amy Farrah Fowler later.

280
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,654
- I don't drink coffee.
- All right, you can have a hot chocolate.

281
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,622
As I will not be engaging in this nonsense,
my choice of beverage is moot.

282
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,818
For the record,
I only drink hot chocolate...

283
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,122
...in months with an R in them.

284
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:42,191
- Why?
- What's life without whimsy?

285
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,297
Okay, I'm out.

286
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,907
Sheldon...

287
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,538
...I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof
somewhere in your apartment.

288
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,045
Unless you're willing
to come with us to meet this girl...

289
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:05,384
...it will remain there forever.

290
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,017
You're bluffing.

291
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,063
Are you willing to risk it?

292
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,359
Curse you.

293
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,047
Thirty feet.

294
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:47,531
Oh. Hey, Leonard.

295
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,932
I was a perfectly happy,
geeky, little lonely guy...

296
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,038
...and then you ruined me.

297
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:55,863
Are you drunk?

298
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:59,034
Come on. We're gonna have sex
and it's not gonna mean a thing.

299
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:02,410
Are you out of your mind?

300
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,216
I'm really starting to think
there's a double standard here.

301
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:17,294
In a few minutes, when I gloat
over the failure of this enterprise...

302
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:20,557
...how would you prefer I do it?
The standard "I told you so"?

303
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,064
With a classic "neener-neener"?

304
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:25,670
Or just my normal look
of haughty derision?

305
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:31,069
- You don't know we're wrong yet.
- Haughty derision it is.

306
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,805
Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler.
You're Sheldon Cooper.

307
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,677
Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler.

308
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,410
I'm sorry to inform you
that you have been taken in...

309
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,144
...by unsupportable mathematics...

310
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,653
...designed to prey
on the gullible and the lonely.

311
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:48,760
Additionally, I'm being blackmailed
with a hidden dirty sock.

312
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,760
If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it.

313
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,601
If it was literal,
I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

314
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,331
I'm here because my mother and I have
agreed that I will date at least once a year.

315
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:03,532
Interesting.

316
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:07,008
My mother and I have
the same agreement about church.

317
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:10,615
I don't object to the concept of a deity,
but I'm baffled by the notion...

318
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,478
...of one that takes attendance.

319
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,281
Well, then you might
want to avoid East Texas.

320
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,982
Noted. Now, before this goes any further,
you should know...

321
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:24,619
...that all forms of physical contact
up to and including coitus are off the table.

322
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,827
May I buy you a beverage?

323
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,967
Tepid water, please.

324
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:42,473
Good God, what have we done?