1
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,311
Having a little trouble
catching your breath, there?

2
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:16,675
No, I'm good. If my P.E. teachers had
told me this is what I was training for...

3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,215
...I would have tried a lot harder.

4
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:24,317
Do or do not, there is no try.

5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,358
<i>Heh. Did you just quote Star Wars?</i>

6
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,164
<i>I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.</i>

7
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,429
Ha, ha. Oh, my God.

8
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:42,166
I am lying in bed with a beautiful woman
who can quote Yoda.

9
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,409
I love you, Penny.

10
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:58,081
Uh... Heh.

11
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,687
Thank you.

12
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,558
You're welcome.

13
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,297
- I just wanted to put that out there.
- Oh, yeah. No, I...

14
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,267
- I'm glad.
- Yeah... Oh, good.

15
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,734
- Good. Glad is good.
- Yeah.

16
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,041
Ha. Ahem.

17
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,643
No... Um...

18
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,104
So, heh...

19
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,949
It's getting pretty late.
We should, tsk, go to sleep.

20
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,210
- Yeah.
- Okay.

21
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:27,580
Yeah, probably.

22
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,222
- Okay. Good night, sweetie.
- Good night.

23
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:08,022
Hey, Leonard,
where do you come down on giant ants?

24
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,321
Sheldon says impossible,
Howard and I say not only possible...

25
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,957
...but as a mode of transportation,
way cooler than the Batmobile.

26
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,862
You are ignoring the square-cube law.

27
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,372
The giant ant would be crushed
under the weight of its exoskeleton.

28
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:26,034
For the record, the appropriate ranking
of cool modes of transportation...

29
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:31,173
...is jetpack, hover board, transporter,
Batmobile and then giant ant.

30
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,284
Seriously, you have nothing better
to do than sit around...

31
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,890
...and discuss the possibility
of giant ants?

32
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,354
- What's with him?
- Perhaps he's at a sensitive point...

33
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,053
...in his monthly cycle.

34
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:50,063
Are you saying he's man-struating?

35
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,198
Not literally.

36
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,398
But as far back as the 17th century...

37
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:59,011
...scientists observed a 33-day
fluctuation in men's hormone levels.

38
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,744
Interesting.

39
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,350
That might explain my weepy days
in the middle of the month.

40
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,076
You know what I'm talking about.

41
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,355
Okay, forget giant ants.

42
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,530
How about giant rabbits?

43
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,595
Big or small, I don't like rabbits.

44
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:24,430
They always look like they're about
to say something, but they never do.

45
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,102
Rabbits do have a respiratory system
that would support great size.

46
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,766
On a side note,
they are one of the few mammals...

47
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,879
...whose scrotum
is in front of the penis.

48
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,050
Maybe that's
what they wanna talk about.

49
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:43,787
Leonard, where do you stand
on giant rabbits and scrotal position?

50
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,585
I honestly don't care.

51
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,854
Really? Every time we've talked
about unusual animal genitals...

52
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,294
...you've always had some pretty strong
and controversial opinions.

53
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,702
What do you want?
I just don't give a rat's ass.

54
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,634
Would that be a giant rat's ass?

55
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,376
For the record, giant rats are possible.

56
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,478
Can we please talk
about something else?

57
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,979
Maybe something vaguely related
to life as we know it on this planet?

58
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:15,949
Okay, how about this for a topic:
"Why is Leonard being a giant douche?"

59
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,957
Assuming giant douches are possible.

60
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,328
Of course they are.
Leonard's being one.

61
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,132
- Maybe he's having a spat with Penny.
- No. There was no spat.

62
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,793
- Oh, but something happened.
- I don't wanna talk about it.

63
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:35,998
But I sense you're going to and
I don't wanna hear about it. Excuse me.

64
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,970
What'd you do, Romeo?

65
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,306
Did you pour maple syrup
all over your body...

66
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,449
...and ask her if she was in the mood
for a short stack?

67
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,982
Think it would be funny
to put on her panties and jump around...

68
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,456
...but it wound up
just creeping her out?

69
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:58,427
- What? No.
- Just asking, dude.

70
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,190
It happens.

71
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,303
You guys still on for bowling tonight?

72
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:08,702
Oh, yes. In fact, I've prepared
some trash talk for the occasion. Ahem.

73
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,139
You bowl like your mama.

74
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,610
Unless she bowls well.
In which case, you bowl nothing like her.

75
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,980
Oh. Ouch.

76
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:23,549
That is what is referred to
as "a burn on you."

77
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,850
- Did you ask her to start waxing?
- No.

78
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,996
- Did you start waxing?
- No.

79
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,565
While making love,
did you accidentally spank your own ass...

80
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,702
...and cry out, "Mommy"

81
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,874
I'm walking away from you now.

82
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,906
- That wasn't a no.
- Yeah. Think we're getting close.

83
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,820
Did you take a Benadryl
and fall asleep while pleasuring her?

84
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,389
Because you can die that way.

85
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,421
Oh, that would be a good way to go.

86
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,057
- Hi.
- Oh, hey.

87
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,030
Good, Penny.
Reminder, bowling tonight at 7:00.

88
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,101
Oh, right. Bowling.

89
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,272
You don't have to come
if you don't want.

90
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:17,374
No, no, it's okay. I mean, let's face it,
you would get creamed without me.

91
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,772
We would indeed.
In this particular case...

92
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,881
...your lack of femininity
works to our advantage.

93
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,714
Yeah. It's always nice chatting with you,
Sheldon.

94
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:32,519
- Sarcasm?
- Thinly veiled contempt.

95
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,624
- Remember, 7:00.
- Got it.

96
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,229
- Pacific Daylight Time.
- Bite me.

97
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,798
Please reserve that butch spirit
for the lanes.

98
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,138
I thought you were bringing
your own bowling shoes.

99
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,974
These are my own bowling shoes.

100
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,110
Then what's with the disinfectant?

101
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,649
I know where my feet have been.

102
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,489
Hey, Penny.

103
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:06,917
And you guys.

104
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,662
Albino Bob couldn't make it,
so I brought a substitute.

105
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,790
I believe some of you
know Wil Wheaton.

106
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,262
Hi, Sheldon. How's it going?

107
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:24,500
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Wil Wheaton.

108
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,010
The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man.

109
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,478
The Pope Paul V to my Galileo.

110
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,777
The Internet Explorer to my Firefox.

111
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:37,186
Not carrying a grudge because I beat you
at that card tournament, are you?

112
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,087
I'm the proud owner
of Wil-Wheaton-stinks.com...

113
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,523
...dot-net and dot-org.
What does that tell you?

114
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:46,163
It tells me that I am living rent-free
right here.

115
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:50,025
- You ready to bowl?
- Oh, I'm ready.

116
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,036
I don't know if Stuart told you
what you're up against...

117
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:57,040
...but before you stands the co-captain
of the East Texas Christian Youth...

118
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,974
...Holy Roller Bowling League
Championship team.

119
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,509
Seven-to-12-year-old division.

120
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,714
Also, Penny's pretty good.

121
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,555
Great. Then it's on.

122
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,957
Foolish Wil Wheaton.

123
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,460
It was never off.

124
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,462
Yes!

125
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,397
A common spare.

126
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:27,028
The Miss Congeniality
of the bowling pageant.

127
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,535
Before you jump on Twitter
to tout your modest accomplishment...

128
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,042
...watch how it's really done.

129
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,646
I am the ball.

130
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,210
My thoughts are its thoughts.

131
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,752
Its holes are my holes.

132
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,525
Yes.

133
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,858
Tweet that, Tweety Bird.

134
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,401
- I just wanted to tell you I'm a big fan.
- Oh, thanks.

135
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,439
<i>I'm sure you're probably sick
of Star Trek questions...</i>

136
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,839
...but Whoopi Goldberg,
you ever hit that?

137
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,608
Ah. Beer.

138
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:17,587
The magic elixir that can turn this poor,
shy Indian boy into the life of the party.

139
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,789
Oh, yeah.

140
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:29,533
- Chili-cheese fry?
- Yes. I love chili-cheese fries.

141
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,261
- Really? You love them?
- Yeah, why?

142
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,030
No reason. Just glad to hear...

143
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,801
...you're comfortable
saying you love something.

144
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,776
- You wanna get into this right now?
- Get into what?

145
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,109
Why wouldn't you love
the chili-cheese fries?

146
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,218
They've been in your life a long time.

147
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,388
They make you happy.
They deserve to know.

148
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:53,948
Okay, look, you caught me by surprise
last night. I didn't know what to say.

149
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,095
Now you've had time to think about it.
What do you wanna say?

150
00:09:57,564 --> 00:10:00,328
- I'm not sure.
- How can you not be sure?

151
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,398
- This isn't the place to have this.
- No.

152
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,662
The place was in bed after I said,
"I love you"...

153
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,137
...and you said,
"Thank you. Good night."

154
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,743
- Don't push it, Leonard.
- I am not pushing anything.

155
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:16,075
You are. You don't get to decide
when I'm ready to say "I love you."

156
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:23,812
Ah. The premature "I love you."

157
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,493
I guessed premature. Does that count?

158
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,460
Penny.

159
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:37,527
Penny.

160
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,263
Penny.

161
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,275
- What?
- This is for you.

162
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,277
- Ice cream?
- I've been familiarizing myself...

163
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:53,943
...with female emotional crises
by studying the comic strip "Cathy."

164
00:10:56,489 --> 00:11:00,289
When she's upset,
she says "ack" and eats ice cream.

165
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,193
Um...

166
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,525
Ack.

167
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,696
And if you were a cat,
I would have brought you a lasagna.

168
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,371
Did Leonard send you over here?

169
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:19,067
No. We haven't spoken
since your abrupt departure last night...

170
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,806
...caused us to forfeit to Stuart
and his dastardly ringer, Wil Wheaton.

171
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,912
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

172
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,382
Not too proud to admit
that I cried myself to sleep.

173
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,052
- Again, I'm sorry.
- Let me tell you...

174
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,714
...sleep did not come easily...

175
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:36,692
...with Leonard in the next room
singing along with Alanis Morissette.

176
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,926
- You're kidding.
- No.

177
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,532
Clearly another woman
in dire need of ice cream.

178
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,898
What part of this is supposed
to make me feel better?

179
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,269
The part where I tell you
I've engineered a rematch...

180
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,172
...with Stuart's team for tonight.

181
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:56,075
Oh, honey, I don't know. Things
are a little weird with Leonard right now.

182
00:11:56,583 --> 00:12:00,019
You want me to remove him from the team?
I'm the captain, I can do that.

183
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:05,254
No, no, that's okay. Just let me
talk to him and I'll get back to you.

184
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:10,294
- When are you going to talk to him?
- I don't know.

185
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,556
He's in the laundry room now.
Now would be a good time.

186
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,768
You're not gonna leave me
until I do it?

187
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,938
Oh, I think we both know
the answer to that question.

188
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:29,246
- I think we should talk now.
- What? No, it's okay.

189
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,282
We don't have to talk because
there's nothing to talk about.

190
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,818
- Everything's good.
- Really?

191
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,319
So you didn't get snarky...

192
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,549
...because I said something nice
to a bowl of chili fries?

193
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,125
All right, maybe I overreacted.

194
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,129
So we're in two different places,
emotionally. So what?

195
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,162
And maybe I'm a little ahead of you,
and that's fine.

196
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,734
In fact, it makes sense,
because let's face it...

197
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,737
...I've been in this relationship
two years longer than you.

198
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,303
Look, Leonard, you have to know
how much I care about you.

199
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,415
It's just that I've said the L word
too soon before...

200
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,278
...and it didn't work out very well.

201
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,483
Really?
I wouldn't know what that's like.

202
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,416
I'm sorry.

203
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,785
- You know what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, I do.

204
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,195
- So we're good?
- Yes, that's what I'm telling you.

205
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,092
We are good. We are great.

206
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:22,530
All right. Fence mended,
problem swept under the rug.

207
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,135
Time to bowl.

208
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,337
Yes, I was eavesdropping.
There's a lot at stake.

209
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,306
Attention, all bowlers...

210
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:38,314
...I've taken the liberty
of having these made for our rematch.

211
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,678
- The Wesley Crushers?
- No, not the Wesley Crushers.

212
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,015
The Wesley "Crushers."

213
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,516
- I don't get it.
- Wesley Crusher...

214
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,990
<i>...was Wil Wheaton's character
on Star Trek.</i>

215
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,629
Still don't get it.

216
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,855
It's a blindingly clever play on words.

217
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,967
By appropriating his character's
name and adding the S...

218
00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:00,071
...we imply that we will be
the crushers of Wesley.

219
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,475
I'm sorry, but the Wesley Crushers...

220
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,907
...sounds like people
who like Wesley Crusher.

221
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,170
No, again,
it's not the Wesley Crushers.

222
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,509
It's the Wesley "Crushers."

223
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:15,387
No, if you want it to mean
you're crushing Wesley...

224
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,523
...it'd be the "Wesley" Crushers.

225
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:20,818
Do you people even hear yourselves?
It's not the Wesley Crushers.

226
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:25,020
It's not the "Wesley" Crushers,
it's Wesley "Crushers."

227
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,723
Hey, look.
They named their team after me.

228
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,932
No, it's not... Never mind.

229
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,740
So we're all clear on the bet
and the stakes?

230
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,002
Oh, yes.

231
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:43,342
The losers will be publicly humiliated
in a fashion to be chosen by the victor.

232
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:47,246
FYI, I plan on having you
publish a scientific paper...

233
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,617
...expounding the discredited
Belakovsky hypotheses.

234
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,948
Ouch again.

235
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,924
Hey, Sheldon.

236
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:01,596
I wanted you to know I'm looking forward
to wiping the floor with you.

237
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:05,794
Oh, yes? Well, before I respond,
let me ask you a question.

238
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,934
Is your mother a good or poor bowler?

239
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:19,078
- After you.
- No, after you.

240
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:23,655
As we are currently crushing you,
Wesley.

241
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,125
It's customary for the player
on the right-hand lane to bowl first.

242
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,821
All right.

243
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:42,565
It's a custom, not a rule.

244
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,937
I so loathe you.

245
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:50,142
That's right, Sheldon.
Embrace the dark side.

246
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,982
That's not even from your franchise.

247
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:01,820
I, um... I want you to know that
even though we're on opposite sides...

248
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,825
...I bear you no ill will.

249
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,659
- Thank you, Stuart. It's nice to know.
- Mm-hm.

250
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:10,836
People from opposite sides
often have good relationships.

251
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,595
You know, Romeo and Juliet...

252
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,138
<i>...Tony and Maria from West Side Story.</i>

253
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,872
<i>What's-his-name
and the big, blue chick in Avatar.</i>

254
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:24,372
I'm gonna bowl now.

255
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,286
Be the ball, Howard.

256
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,686
Leave me alone, Sheldon.

257
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,730
You weren't the ball.

258
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,462
Hey, thanks.

259
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,367
- This is fun, huh?
- Yeah.

260
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,371
It's good we got out
and did something physical.

261
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,043
- Mm-hm.
- Gets us out of our heads.

262
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:53,235
You get in your head...

263
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:56,404
...you start to over-think, over-analyze,
obsess, you worry.

264
00:16:56,582 --> 00:17:00,018
That's not what we're doing tonight.
We're throwing a ball at some pins.

265
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:01,413
- Yeah, that's right.
- Mm-hm.

266
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,680
And someday, we don't know when,
maybe you'll love me back.

267
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,390
Ooh. I'm up.

268
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:14,663
<i>Sheldon. Sheldon. Sheldon.</i>

269
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:15,926
Excuse me.

270
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:20,070
I don't know who you're chanting for,
as I am currently the ball.

271
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:28,337
<i>The ball. The ball. The ball.</i>

272
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,241
Thank you, Jesus!

273
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,383
As my mother would say.

274
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,622
I'm glad you patched things up
with your boyfriend.

275
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,697
Yeah, me too.

276
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,892
It's tough when the L bomb
gets dropped and you're not ready.

277
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,400
Tell me about it.

278
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:56,066
I dated this one girl,
and I told her that I loved her...

279
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,442
...and she said she wasn't sure.

280
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,570
And she strung me along
for almost two years. It was brutal.

281
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,811
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Thanks.

282
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:08,751
I wish she had just broken up with me
right there.

283
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,253
Put me out of my misery.

284
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,551
- Really?
- Yeah. Would have been kinder.

285
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,291
- Wil, you're up.
- Oh, that's me.

286
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,735
Did you let Wil Wheaton
get in your head?

287
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,097
- What are you talking about?
- He's evil.

288
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,240
He plays evil mind games.

289
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,739
- Did he tell you his grandmother died?
- No.

290
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,970
If he does, don't believe it. He's not above
playing the dead meemaw card.

291
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,776
Yes!

292
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,114
Enjoy the accolades now,
Wil Wheaton.

293
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,757
<i>But like your time on
Star Trek: Next Generation...</i>

294
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,485
...your smug self-satisfaction
will be short-lived.

295
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,524
- Penny, you're up.
- All right, remember...

296
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:56,293
- ...his meemaw's alive and be the ball.
- Yeah. I got it.

297
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,994
- Oh, we really need a strike here.
- I know.

298
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:02,265
- Take your time and concentrate.
- Leonard, stop pressuring me.

299
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,705
- I'm not pressuring you.
- You are. Just back off.

300
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,509
Okay. I'm sorry. I'll shut up.

301
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,274
I didn't mean shut up.

302
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:12,777
Fine.

303
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,216
Just tell me what to do and I'll do it.

304
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:20,716
No. This isn't fair to you, Leonard.
I'm sorry.

305
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,861
Wait, where are you going?
Penny, come back.

306
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,224
I'll get you ice cream.

307
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,958
- No, let her go.
- Are you insane?

308
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,967
If she leaves, it's over.

309
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:35,200
Pretty sure it's already over.

310
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:37,834
Tough luck, Sheldon.

311
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,873
You did this, didn't you?

312
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,380
Do you think I would break up a couple
just to win a bowling match?

313
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,716
- No, I suppose not.
- Good. Keep thinking that.

314
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:56,924
Wheaton...

315
00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,993
Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Yep.

316
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:06,605
I'm telling you, the Match.com chicks
are much looser than on eHarmony.

317
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:14,045
Oh. You know, I gotta call you back.
I won a bet and it's time to collect.

318
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,794
I don't know about you,
but I feel empowered.