1
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,651
Will you please turn your shirt off?

2
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,356
What? I'm giving myself
dramatic entrance music.

3
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:31,089
People will know I'm awesome
and to be feared.

4
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,859
Right. There's nothing more awesome
and frightening...

5
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,993
...than a man who's got music blasting
from between his nipples.

6
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,274
- Hey, Stuart. What's going on?
- Well, you might wanna mark...

7
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:46,401
...your Google calendars. Stan Lee
is coming to do a signing on Thursday.

8
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,105
Did he finally write a sequel
to his autobiography?

9
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:53,083
I'm sure ages 79 through 87
were just action-packed.

10
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,619
No, just a regular comic signing.

11
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:59,384
My uncle is his dermatologist,
and Stan's doing him a favor.

12
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,551
Oh, I don't wanna know that.

13
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,186
How can I possibly discuss with
Stan Lee the scientific foundations...

14
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:08,528
...for interstellar flight on a surfboard
when part of my brain...

15
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:12,729
...will be scanning his face
for signs of contagious skin disease?

16
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,638
Stan Lee does not have
a contagious skin disease.

17
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,143
Well, look who thinks
he's Stuart's uncle now.

18
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:24,306
Can't believe it.
We're gonna meet Stan Lee.

19
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,978
<i>I'm so excited
And I just can't hide it</i>

20
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,224
<i>I'm about to lose control
And I think I like it</i>

21
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,827
I'm sad to say
I taught him those moves.

22
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,118
I can't decide whether I want Stan Lee
to autograph...

23
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:10,161
<i>...my Journey Into Mystery 83,
first appearance of Thor...</i>

24
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:14,596
<i>...or my Fantastic FourNumber 5,
first appearance of Dr. Doom.</i>

25
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:28,011
Alex, I'm gonna go with:
"What is you're a dumb-ass?"

26
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:38,556
<i>I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee
sign my copy of this month's Batman.</i>

27
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,827
<i>That's crazy. Stan Lee
had nothing to do with Batman.</i>

28
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,361
Which is why no one else
will ask him to sign one.

29
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,523
I'll be the possessor of a unique,
albeit confusing artifact...

30
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:51,535
...which will set me apart from
the hoi polloi of comic-book fandom.

31
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,405
<i>That's a great idea. I'm gonna get him
to sign a Batman as well.</i>

32
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,404
What is it about the word "unique"
you don't understand?

33
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,516
Ow! Damn. Paper cut.
Nothing worse than a paper cut.

34
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:08,553
Well, obviously,
you don't remember your circumcision.

35
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:13,249
There's Neosporin and Band-Aids
in my top desk drawer.

36
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,759
Why don't you keep that stuff
in the bathroom?

37
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:19,524
He does. And in the kitchen,
and in the car, and in his pocket.

38
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,759
Yeah, but the ones in my pocket
are mine.

39
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,234
- Hi.
- Hey.

40
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,566
Guess who's gonna be
at the comic store on Thursday.

41
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,733
- Um, can you give me a hint?
- Stan Lee.

42
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:35,041
Um, Stanley. Stanley. Stanley Tucci?

43
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,878
No, ha, ha. No. Stan Lee.

44
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,749
Oh. Oh, Stan Lee. Cool.

45
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,186
You have no idea who he is, do you?

46
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,090
Of course I do.
You're an important part of my life...

47
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,460
...and I pay attention to the things
you are interested in.

48
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,965
- Good. Good.
- Heh, heh.

49
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,228
So who's Stan Lee?

50
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,470
<i>Um, he was on Star Trek.</i>

51
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,769
<i>- No.
- Star Wars?</i>

52
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,140
No.

53
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:12,614
Um, Stan Lee. Oh, he was in those goofy
kung fu movies you love so much?

54
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,920
That's Bruce Lee.

55
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,380
Oh.

56
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,116
So is this Bruce Lee's
nerdy brother, Stan?

57
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:24,653
Sheldon, why do you have all these
unopened paychecks in your desk?

58
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:29,291
Because most of the things I'm planning
to buy haven't been invented yet.

59
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,998
There must be thousands
of dollars here.

60
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,970
- Why don't you put it in the bank?
- I don't trust banks.

61
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:39,602
I believe that when the robots rise up,
ATMs will lead the charge.

62
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,314
You've also got something
from the Pasadena Municipal Court.

63
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:48,018
Undoubtedly yet another snide response
to my repeated letters...

64
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:52,022
...complaining that the flags in front of
the courthouse are in the wrong order.

65
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:56,026
It's supposed to be federal, state,
and then city of Pasadena.

66
00:04:56,463 --> 00:05:00,160
I'm sorry, you sent more than one letter
about that?

67
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,662
It bothers me.

68
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:07,362
- Sheldon, this is a summons.
- A summons? For what?

69
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,270
Looks like you ran a red light...

70
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:14,345
...on Marengo Avenue at 9:30 p.m.
on November 16th.

71
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:18,206
They got you on a traffic camera.
Nice picture.

72
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:26,556
November 16th? Penny, that's
the evening you fell in your bathtub.

73
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,819
I had to drive you
to the emergency room.

74
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,189
No, it isn't.

75
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,532
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.

76
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:37,227
I have an eidetic memory. That's
a picture of you in the passenger seat...

77
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,838
...holding your dislocated shoulder.

78
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,200
Hmm. No, it isn't.

79
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:46,040
Okay, then why is a summons
for a traffic violation...

80
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:50,479
...committed in your car, bearing
your license plates, coming to me?

81
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,251
Okay, look, they sent me the ticket.

82
00:05:57,424 --> 00:06:01,087
I told them I wasn't driving,
and they were all, "Who was it?"

83
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,252
- So you betrayed me.
- No.

84
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,556
It wasn't a betrayal.

85
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,723
It was more of a, I can't afford
any more points on my license.

86
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,564
I already have to buy my insurance
from this place in the Cayman Islands.

87
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,899
But the only reason
I was driving your car...

88
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,043
...was because you were in distress,
and I was rescuing you.

89
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,907
Yes. And look, now you have a photo
to remember that heroic day.

90
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,939
It's not that big a deal.

91
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,450
You just go down to the court on Thursday,
and you pay the fine.

92
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,715
I'm not going to pay a fine.
That would imply I'm guilty.

93
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,256
You are guilty.

94
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:41,132
- That one I liked.
- Yeah.

95
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:44,133
I am not guilty.
I only have a learner's permit.

96
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,772
Penny was the teacher.
When the light turned yellow...

97
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,875
...she said, "Go, go, go,"
so I went, went, went.

98
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,375
Sheldon, I'm sorry. I'll be happy
to reimburse you for the fine.

99
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:57,277
You know, as soon as I get a part
in a movie or my own TV series.

100
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,645
You don't need to reimburse me.
I'm not paying.

101
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:03,778
On Thursday, I will have my day in court,
and justice will be done.

102
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:07,393
In fact, I'm going to begin
preparing my defense right now.

103
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,094
Okay, he's going to jail.

104
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:15,129
Oh, that's right.
Thursday's Stan Lee day.

105
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,137
Now you see what you've done?

106
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,598
Because of you,
we're all going to miss Stan Lee.

107
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,804
Whoa!

108
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,978
- What do you mean "all"?
- Well, you're my friends.

109
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,641
You'll be standing by my side,
supporting me...

110
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,845
...feeding me legal precedents,
and, if you have the strength...

111
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,185
...carrying me out on your shoulders
when I'm victorious.

112
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,620
Yeah, okay, no.

113
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,163
Are you saying that you will not stand
beside me as I plead my case?

114
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,160
That's what I'm saying.

115
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,499
- Howard?
- Wow. Ahem.

116
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:54,197
Uh, Stan Lee or you in court.

117
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:58,435
<i>Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice,
it would've been a much shorter movie. No.</i>

118
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,979
Raj, you'll be there, won't you?

119
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,548
All right, then,
my so-called friends have forsaken me.

120
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:12,055
So I guess it'll just be me
and my eyewitness.

121
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,789
Oh, balls.

122
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:18,397
Try to wear something appropriate.
It won't help my case if the judge...

123
00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:22,365
...is busy trying to read the word "Juicy"
scrawled across your buttocks.

124
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,903
Penny. Penny.

125
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,874
Penny.

126
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,039
- That's just wrong.
- All right, let's go.

127
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,550
Wait. Hold on.
Before we get to the courthouse...

128
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,746
...I'd like to call on your skills
as an actress.

129
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:45,049
What is this?

130
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,752
I've taken the liberty of scripting
your appearance on the witness stand.

131
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,589
You're somewhat of a loose cannon.

132
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,533
Don't worry, it's written
in your vernacular. So shall we rehearse?

133
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,261
- Do I have a choice?
- Of course you have a choice.

134
00:08:57,437 --> 00:09:01,498
Although we live in a deterministic
universe, each individual has free will.

135
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,403
Now, sit down.

136
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:07,936
"I call your attention
to the events of November 16th.

137
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,581
Do you remember that date?"

138
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:13,081
"Darn tooting, I do.

139
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:19,581
If the court will excuse my homespun,
corn-fed, Nebraskan turn of phrase."

140
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:24,125
- Excellent. Go on.
- "The reason that date is, like...

141
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:28,427
...so totally fixed in my memory is that
I had the privilege to be witness...

142
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:33,129
...to one of the most heroic acts
I've ever seen in, like, ever."

143
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,300
"And who performed that heroic act?"

144
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:41,311
"Why, you did, sir.
You, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

145
00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:45,315
And may I add,
it is a privilege to know you."

146
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:49,585
"T here's no need for compliments.
This court is only interested in the facts."

147
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:53,817
"But it is a fact
that it's a privilege to know you.

148
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,128
Totally."

149
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,894
"A teardrop rolls down my cheek"?

150
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:04,125
Only a suggestion. A catch in your throat
would work just as well.

151
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:10,840
"But it is a fact
that it's a privilege to know you.

152
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,669
Totally."

153
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,110
Maybe you should put on
your Juicy pants again.

154
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,286
Pay the cashier.

155
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,018
Sheldon Cooper.

156
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,352
Good morning, Your Honor.

157
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:35,866
<i>Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se.
That is to say, representing himself.</i>

158
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:38,663
I know what it means.
I went to law school.

159
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,330
And yet you wound up in traffic court.

160
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,135
If it would please the court,
I'd like to begin with an opening statement.

161
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,304
The court would advise you
to make it quick.

162
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:53,976
The court had a dicey-looking
breakfast burrito and just took an Imodium.

163
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:58,679
Very well. A quick opening statement.

164
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:03,022
Like a milking stool,
my case rests on three legs.

165
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,632
I will demonstrate that
I was improperly instructed in driving...

166
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,530
...by a woman whose lack of respect
for society borders on the sociopathic.

167
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:14,639
I will argue that the emergency
met the legal doctrine...

168
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:19,210
<i>...of quod est necessarium est licitum,
that which is necessary is legal.</i>

169
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,542
But first,
I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.

170
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:27,982
I am unable to confront my accuser,
a non-human entity, to wit, a camera.

171
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,418
So to sum up, improper instruction...

172
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,252
<i>...quod est necessarium est licitum,
Sixth Amendment.</i>

173
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,724
My milk stool is complete.

174
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,590
- Impressive.
- Thank you.

175
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,756
Guilty. Pay the cashier.

176
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,732
I object.
You're completely ignoring the law.

177
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:47,236
No, I'm following the law.
I'm ignoring you.

178
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:51,509
Really? I would point out that I am
at the top of my profession...

179
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,738
...while you preside
over the kiddie table of yours.

180
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:59,448
Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt
and throw you in jail...

181
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:02,952
...I'm gonna give you a chance
to apologize for that last remark.

182
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,881
I'm a scientist.
I never apologize for the truth.

183
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,965
That's my spot.

184
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,968
I can't wait to ask Stan Lee
why he insists on giving his characters...

185
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:30,138
...first and last names
that start with the same letter.

186
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,477
Oh, come on. Why would you do that?

187
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:36,247
Bruce Banner, Reed Richards,
Sue Storm, Stephen Strange...

188
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,890
...Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer,
Peter Parker.

189
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:44,394
Oh, and worst of all,
J. Jonah Jameson Jr.

190
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,656
Okay, I'm cutting.

191
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:50,462
I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee
after you cheese him off.

192
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,669
- Hey.
- Sheldon's in jail.

193
00:12:57,844 --> 00:13:00,938
- Sheldon's in jail?
- You called it.

194
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,014
<i>- For what?
- What do you think?</i>

195
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,516
For doing the same crap he always does,
except to a judge.

196
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:12,351
- He has to stay there until he apologizes.
- So tell him to apologize.

197
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,653
Oh, gee, thanks, Leonard.
That didn't occur to me.

198
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:19,189
If he doesn't apologize by 5:00,
he's gonna spend the night in jail.

199
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:23,495
Oh, no, that's terrible.
The line's moving. Gotta go. Bye.

200
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,544
Excuse me. Excuse me, jailor?

201
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,713
- What?
- I need to use the restroom.

202
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,377
Knock yourself out.

203
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,552
- That's the toilet?
- Well, it ain't a wishing well.

204
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,996
Please tell the judge
I'm ready to apologize.

205
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,367
Look at that.

206
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:04,636
"To my friend Leonard.
From Stan Lee. Excelsior!"

207
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,244
Awesome. Mine says:

208
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:11,748
"To my friend Howard.
From Stan Lee. Excelsior!"

209
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:16,315
Mine says, "To Raj. From Stan Lee."

210
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:23,362
That's because you pissed him off
about his character names.

211
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,326
I didn't even mention
Dum Dum Dugan...

212
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:29,195
...or Green Goblin, Matt Murdock,
Pepper Potts, Victor von Doom.

213
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,499
Oh, and worst of all, Millie the Model.

214
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,765
We're home.

215
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:39,605
- Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?
- You know very well how it went.

216
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,612
Yeah. But we all wanna
hear it from you.

217
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:49,945
- I was found guilty and fined $533.
- I'm gonna write you a check for that.

218
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:54,184
As long as you promise to put it in your
drawer and never cash it like the others.

219
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:01,957
I also now have three points on
a driver's license I do not yet possess...

220
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,797
...and I was forced to issue
an undeserved apology...

221
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:09,374
...because I refused to urinate in
a stainless-steel bowl in front of criminals.

222
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,304
Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.

223
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:17,038
Okay, that's enough, Howard.
The poor guy's had a tough time.

224
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:20,982
He had to spend the entire afternoon
in jail wearing that suit.

225
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:27,317
It would be cruel to mention that,
after he finished signing autographs...

226
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:30,826
...Stan Lee took Stuart and us out
for gelato.

227
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,993
You had gelato with Stan Lee?

228
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:38,303
He said we could call him Stan.

229
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,330
Except for Raj.

230
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:47,479
Well, I hope you're satisfied, Penny.

231
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:52,346
You are responsible for all the evil
that has befallen me today.

232
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,008
- I realize...
- Not finished.

233
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:57,350
It is because of you
that I now have a criminal record.

234
00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:01,459
And it is because of you that I missed out
on having gelato with Stan Lee.

235
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,458
- Maybe you'll have another chance...
- No.

236
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,860
I will never have another chance
to have gelato with Stan Lee...

237
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,695
...because opportunities
to have gelato with Stan Lee...

238
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,427
...come but once in a lifetime.

239
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:16,701
The moving finger writes
and, having writ, moves on.

240
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,844
Did he just somehow
give me the finger?

241
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,978
Not just the finger, the moving finger.

242
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,051
Hey, Stuart.

243
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,886
Oh, hey, Penny. Wow.

244
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,858
Hi.

245
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,499
- What's going on?
- Nothing.

246
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:46,331
I'm just getting ready to close up
and head out.

247
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:51,307
- Cool. Got any fun plans?
- Oh, yeah. Big night tonight.

248
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:55,911
Gonna share a can of tuna
with the cat.

249
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,913
Oh, nice.

250
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:04,387
Not even my cat. I just feed it.
Some nights, it doesn't even show up.

251
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:09,190
Oh, okay. Well, I was hoping, um,
you could do me a favor.

252
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,590
Sure, yeah. Name it.

253
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,254
I'm kind of responsible
for Sheldon missing Stan Lee.

254
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,764
I really wanna make it up to him.
I was hoping...

255
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:19,200
...you could give me his number
so I can arrange for them to meet.

256
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,772
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't have his phone number.

257
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,932
Damn. All right. Thank you.

258
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,441
Mm-hm.

259
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,268
Wait.

260
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,714
I have his address.

261
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,446
Really? Great.

262
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,553
But I can't give it to you.

263
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:40,124
- Then why did you tell me you had it?
- I don't know. Just chatting.

264
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:45,625
You're looking at a guy who could very well
get stood up by a stray cat tonight.

265
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,630
I'm sorry, Stuart. Thanks anyway.

266
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,132
Mm-hm.

267
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,469
Wait.

268
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,140
- Yeah?
- Maybe we can make a deal.

269
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,235
What kind of deal?

270
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:03,312
I will give you the address if you go
to my cousin's wedding with me.

271
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:06,315
- You're extorting a date out of me?
- I kind of have to.

272
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:10,251
The cousin who's getting married is
the cousin I usually go to weddings with.

273
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:14,487
- Can I bring Leonard?
- Sure. What the hell?

274
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,824
- Deal.
- We'll tell people he's your cousin.

275
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:23,161
This is Stan Lee's front door.

276
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,328
We were on Stan Lee's curb,
then we were on Stan Lee's walk...

277
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,303
- ...and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.
- Yep.

278
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:34,510
Oh, Lord, you just rang Stan Lee's
doorbell at Stan Lee's house.

279
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,615
We're about to go in and
have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.

280
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,412
Sweetie, I don't know if we're gonna
have cookies or what's gonna happen...

281
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,112
...so just let me talk and...

282
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:45,947
Yeah?

283
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,189
- Are you Stan Lee?
- Oh, damn.

284
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,800
Hi. I'm Penny.
This is my friend Sheldon.

285
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,368
We're not friends at the moment.
Depends on how this goes.

286
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:01,506
Right, right. Anyway,
Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours.

287
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:06,702
He was supposed to meet you the other
day, but he kind of ended up in jail.

288
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:11,978
I see. And you thought you'd just
come over to my house uninvited?

289
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,808
You said we were invited.

290
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:18,286
Oh, no, no. I said I'm inviting you
to come with me to Stan Lee's house.

291
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,493
You know, you fanboys are unbelievable.

292
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,153
Do you think you can just ring
my doorbell anytime you want?

293
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,858
I mean, why don't you just come on in
and watch the Lakers game with me?

294
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:33,236
Well, I'm not much of a sports fan,
but thank you.

295
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:38,339
I'm sorry.
He doesn't really understand sarcasm.

296
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,741
Well, I'll give him something
he'll understand.

297
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:44,246
- Joanie, call the police.
- Nice to meet you.

298
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,055
Fantastic Four, Daredevil...

299
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:56,422
...Invincible Iron Man,
Happy Hogan, Curt Connors...

300
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,222
Would you just let it go?

301
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:03,933
And worst of all, Fin Fang Foom.

302
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:08,835
- Hey. Where you been?
- I'll tell you where I've been.

303
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,909
You boys may have had gelato
with Stan Lee...

304
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:15,741
...and gotten autographed comics,
but I saw the inside of his house...

305
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:20,113
...and got an autographed application
for a restraining order.

306
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,713
Sweet.

307
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:27,282
Plus, I get to hang out with him again,
at the hearing.

308
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,285
This is going to look great...

309
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:34,797
...hanging next to my restraining order
from Leonard Nimoy.