1
00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,231
How much time do we have?
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:09,000
Uh, T-minus five hours,
37 minutes to onset of meteor shower.
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,579
Okay, our position
is 34.48 degrees north, 118.31 west.
4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,581
That means the azimuth
should be 168.22 degrees...
5
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,653
...relative to magnetic north
with an elevation of 49.93.
6
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,483
- Anything yet?
- Uh, we have a signal...
7
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,490
- ...but no frame lock.
- Hang on. How about now?
8
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,695
We did it. Ha, ha.
We have the West Coast feed of HBO.
9
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,228
Ooh, Real Sex.
10
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,165
Big deal. Every time I watch that...
11
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:40,033
...it's old women putting condoms
on cucumbers.
12
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,170
All right,
let's see what's on the East Coast feed.
13
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,905
Oh, hey. Dune.
14
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:52,514
Not a great movie,
but look at that beautiful desert.
15
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,013
Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us.
16
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,054
It's just not the same without him.
17
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,126
That was good. That was good.
18
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,924
Oh, this sucks.
I'm switching back to Real Sex.
19
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,607
Sheldon's log.
20
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,272
Stardate 63345.3.
21
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:22,040
While my colleagues are off
observing the Leonid meteor shower...
22
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,445
...I've remained behind
to complete my paper...
23
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,781
...on the decays
of highly excited massive string states.
24
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,889
Although my research is going well...
25
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:33,788
...I do miss the warmth
of human companionship.
26
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,788
And good evening to you, Siam Palace.
27
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,326
This is Sheldon Cooper.
28
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,589
I'm going to be dining alone
this evening...
29
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,960
...so I'll be reducing my usual order.
30
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:18,594
I'd like to start with one quarter
of the Assorted Appetizers Plate...
31
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:22,640
...and one half
of the Golden Treasure for two...
32
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,801
Oh, for heaven's sake.
In the mid-18th century...
33
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,948
...King Rama IV of Siam
divided a huge empire...
34
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,449
...amongst the colonial powers of Europe
to preserve his throne.
35
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:36,988
Surely you, his cultural descendant,
can handle pad thai and dumplings.
36
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,715
Sheldon, help!
37
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,689
I need to go, but you keep in mind...
38
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,227
...that my sharply worded comments
on Yelp.com...
39
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,490
...recently took down
a local muffin store.
40
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,969
Penny. Penny. Penny.
41
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,164
Come in! Hurry!
42
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,139
- Penny?
- I'm back here.
43
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,412
Penny. Penny. Penny.
44
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,679
Oh, for God's sakes, I'm in the bathroom.
45
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,346
Shall I come back at a better time?
46
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:14,759
Get in here!
47
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,892
Hurry!
48
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,192
Don't you dare knock.
49
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,868
Hello.
50
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,769
I slipped in the shower.
I think I dislocated my shoulder.
51
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,103
Not surprising.
52
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,439
You have no safety mat
or adhesive stickers...
53
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:37,879
...to allow for purchase on a surface
with a low coefficient of static friction.
54
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,950
What?
55
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,355
Tubs are slippery.
56
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,615
I know. I slipped.
57
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,727
I have a series of whimsical duck stickers
on the bottom of my tub.
58
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,693
Whatever. Will you just
turn the water off and help me up?
59
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,434
- They're holding umbrellas.
- Unh.
60
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,064
- What?
- The ducks in my tub.
61
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,296
Unh. Uh-huh.
62
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,203
They're whimsical,
because ducks have neither a need for...
63
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,434
...nor the ability to use umbrellas.
64
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,875
Oh, my God.
I gotta go to the emergency room.
65
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,140
Assuming you're correct
that your humerus...
66
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:12,547
...is no longer seated
in the glenoid socket, I would think so.
67
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,380
- Can you drive me?
- I don't drive.
68
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,078
Well, I can't drive.
69
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,955
Well, it seems we've reached an impasse.
70
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,252
Ow!
71
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,085
I could call you a cab or an ambulance.
72
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,255
No, no, no, I can't wait that long.
You gotta help me. Please?
73
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,231
All right. Let it never be said
that Sheldon Lee Cooper...
74
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,666
...ignored the pleas
of a damsel in distress.
75
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,499
No one's saying that. Let's go.
76
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:37,268
It does seem rather ironic that
for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks...
77
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,504
...we both might die in a fiery car crash.
78
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,979
I wish Penny didn't have to work.
She loves camping.
79
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,144
That would've been great.
You and Penny having sex in the tent...
80
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,586
...while I sit out here
and watch Howard hump a cactus.
81
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:56,923
Okay, the best I can tell,
there are eight other campsites nearby.
82
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,965
Mostly science nerds like us,
but just over yon ridge...
83
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,659
...are two not unattractive
middle-school teachers...
84
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,429
...who reek of desperation.
85
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,773
- Wonderful. How old are they?
- I don't know, 50, 55?
86
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,679
Oh, menopause. Heh.
87
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,210
Nature's birth control.
88
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:20,182
Come on. You guys can't be that hard up.
89
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,210
- I am.
- Yeah, me too.
90
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,655
Look, they gave me homemade cookies.
91
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,351
Of course they did.
That's what grandmothers do.
92
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,053
- So, what are we waiting for?
- Relax.
93
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:34,997
I said we'd stop by a little later,
after they have their nap.
94
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,227
- Good idea. They'll be refreshed.
- Yeah.
95
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,398
- Cookie?
- Thank you.
96
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,176
Mmm.
97
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,904
- Mm. Not bad.
- Yeah, very tasty.
98
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,809
Tell me more about these teachers.
99
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,348
Not much to tell.
They had a VW Microbus...
100
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,681
...and were wearing
tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirts.
101
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,422
Huh. Hm.
102
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:01,360
Good cookies.
103
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,329
I see no organizational system
in here whatsoever.
104
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,667
Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
105
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,832
I don't need panties.
I just need shorts and a shirt.
106
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,604
Mother always told me
one should wear clean underpants...
107
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:23,078
- ...in case one is in an accident.
- One was already in an accident.
108
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,242
Doesn't mean one won't be in another,
especially if I drive.
109
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,779
- Clothes, Sheldon. I need clothes.
- Okay.
110
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,289
- Here.
- Seriously? Those shorts with that top?
111
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,385
All right.
112
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,895
No.
113
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,268
No.
114
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,567
Oh, that's cute.
115
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,966
We should have you checked
for a concussion.
116
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,708
Okay, now you gotta help me
put these on.
117
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,073
- All right.
- But don't look.
118
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,943
- Don't look?
- I don't want you to see me naked.
119
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,642
Oh. Well, that's understandable.
120
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:03,084
You may be interested to know
that a prohibition against looking...
121
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,417
...is well established
in heroic mythology.
122
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,493
Lot and his wife, Perseus and Medusa...
123
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,323
- ...Orpheus and Eurydice...
- Great.
124
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,965
They always look. It never ends well.
125
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,764
You gotta help me
get my arm into the sleeve.
126
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,301
Okay.
127
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,501
Is that my arm?
128
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:28,174
Doesn't feel like an arm.
129
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,080
Then maybe you should let it go.
130
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,286
Alrighty.
131
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,000
Stars are pretty, aren't they?
132
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,538
Up above the world so high.
133
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:58,109
Like little diamonds in the sky.
134
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,973
That's beautiful, dude.
135
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:05,012
You should write that down
before someone steals it.
136
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,119
So when do the meteors get here?
137
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,814
The meteors don't get here.
The Earth is moving into their path.
138
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,186
I can feel it.
139
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:18,127
I can feel the Earth moving. Heh.
140
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,164
It's moving too fast. Raj, slow it down.
141
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,209
Okay, how's that?
142
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,477
Better, thanks.
143
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,576
Stars are pretty, aren't they?
144
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,484
What's so funny?
145
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:49,651
It's your American accent. Everything
you say sounds stupid. Ha-ha-ha.
146
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,860
"Stars are pretty, aren't they?"
147
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,240
For the record, I should let you know...
148
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:09,075
...this is my first time
driving an actual motor vehicle.
149
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,614
- You have your learner's permit, right?
- Yes.
150
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,948
And I've logged a considerable number
of hours on a simulator.
151
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,612
- Good.
- Didn't work out well.
152
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,622
- All right. Can we go?
- One moment.
153
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,752
According to my Driver's Ed book,
the side mirror is properly adjusted...
154
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:27,627
...when a portion of the driver's door
handle is visible in the lower right corner.
155
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,735
There's the handle. Back. Too far.
156
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,895
Bringing it back.
157
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,199
Optimized. Ahem.
158
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:38,105
Now, where is the switch
to adjust the passenger-side mirror?
159
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,768
It's right there.
160
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,874
Where is the passenger-side mirror?
161
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,111
In a parking lot in Hollywood.
162
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:52,254
- Now, can we please go?
- Yes. Soon as I adjust my seat.
163
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,057
Whee!
164
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,930
Oh, dear. I'm gonna have to start again.
165
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,075
If I could speak the language of rabbits...
166
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:19,246
...they would be amazed
and I would be their king.
167
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,411
I hate my name.
168
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,253
It has "nerd" in it.
169
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,362
Leon-nerd.
170
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,167
I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
171
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:42,099
I would be kind to my rabbit subjects.
172
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,707
At first.
173
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,440
You know what's a cool name?
174
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,606
Angelo.
175
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:55,146
That has "angel" and "Jell-O" in it.
176
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,349
It was my Uncle Murray's funeral.
177
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,856
We were all back
at my Aunt Barbara's house.
178
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,517
Our eyes locked over the pickled herring.
179
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,289
We never meant for it to happen.
180
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,124
One day, I hold a great ball
for the president of France.
181
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,463
But the rabbits,
they hate me and don't come.
182
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:16,234
I'm embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce
in the world and make them watch.
183
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,542
People could call me Angie.
184
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,408
"Yo, Angie. How's it going?"
185
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,183
To this day,
I can't look at pickled herring...
186
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,517
...without being aroused and ashamed.
187
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,518
Oh, cousin Jeanie.
188
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,364
Could you please drive a little faster?
189
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,231
Oh, I think we're going sufficiently fast.
190
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,764
- What's that?
- Nothing.
191
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,536
- The engine does that sometimes.
- It can't be nothing.
192
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,509
The "check engine" light is on.
We need a service station.
193
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,842
The light's been on
since I bought the car.
194
00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:01,009
All the more reason to consult
with a mechanic before it explodes.
195
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,348
It's not gonna explode. Just keep driving.
196
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,458
Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock.
197
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,953
Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise.
198
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,461
He was the science officer.
199
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:16,295
I guarantee that if he saw the Enterprise's
"check engine" light blinking...
200
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,063
...he would
pull the ship over immediately.
201
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,536
Oh, God, I'm gonna lose the arm.
202
00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,638
Oop. Red light. Release accelerator...
203
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:30,806
...and slowly apply the brake.
204
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,713
Nailed it.
205
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,121
While we have a moment...
206
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,590
- ...may I ask you a question?
- What?
207
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,321
Why do you have
the Chinese character for "soup"...
208
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,590
...tattooed on your right buttock?
209
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:51,062
- It's not "soup." It's "courage."
- No, it isn't.
210
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,431
I suppose it does take courage...
211
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,632
...to demonstrate
that kind of commitment to soup.
212
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,576
How did you see it?
You said you wouldn't look.
213
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:05,013
Sorry. As I told you,
the hero always peeks.
214
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,618
- Anything?
- No, that was the last pudding cup.
215
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,125
No.
216
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,268
What about Slim Jims?
217
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,828
That's what he used
to eat his pudding, remember?
218
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,142
Right. That was so good.
219
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:34,142
Sweetie and meaty at the same time.
220
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,841
Wait, wait, wait.
So you're saying we're out of food?
221
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,485
The only thing in here are blue-ice packs.
222
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,616
I know they're poison...
223
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:47,192
...but they look like
big, yummy Otter Pops.
224
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,863
- Oh, God, I am so hungry.
- Me too.
225
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,394
Check and see
if we have any more pudding.
226
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,504
Okay.
227
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:04,132
All right. There's no need to bark at me.
228
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:08,338
According to the inexplicably
irritable nurse behind the desk...
229
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,711
...you're after the man who claims
to be having a heart attack...
230
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:15,081
...but appears to be well enough
to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.
231
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,190
We have to fill these out.
232
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,653
"Describe illness or injury."
233
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,326
I dislocated my shoulder.
234
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,930
All right.
235
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,693
And "how did the accident occur?"
236
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,166
You already know that.
237
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:35,364
Cause of accident:
lack of adhesive ducks.
238
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,102
Okay, medical history.
239
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,839
- Have you been diagnosed with diabetes?
- No.
240
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,448
- Kidney disease?
- No.
241
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,450
- Migraines?
- Getting one.
242
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,187
- Are you currently pregnant?
- No.
243
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,586
Are you sure? You look a bit puffy.
244
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,695
Change migraine to "yes."
245
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:01,756
- "When was your last menstrual period?"
- Oh, next question.
246
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,868
I'll put "in progress."
247
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,406
Okay. Moving to psychiatric disorders.
248
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,874
"List all major behavioral diagnoses,
e.g. depression, anxiety, etc."
249
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:16,105
What the hell does this have to do
with my stupid shoulder?
250
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,376
Episodes of sub-psychotic rage.
251
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,778
- Ass.
- Possible Tourette's.
252
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,788
All right.
"Moles, lesions or other skin conditions."
253
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,624
"Soup" tattoo on right buttock.
254
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:37,395
Okay, Sheldon. Sheldon, look.
I am scared and in a lot of pain.
255
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,562
Could you please take a break
from being you for just a minute...
256
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:44,232
...and try being,
I don't know, comforting?
257
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,078
Ahem. I'm sorry.
258
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,845
There, there.
259
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,014
Everything's going to be fine.
260
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,158
Sheldon's here.
261
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,205
Thanks. That's much better.
262
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,834
Oh, I'm so hungry.
263
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,537
Will you shut up? We're all hungry.
264
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,309
Okay, our objective
is the Boy Scout campsite to the east.
265
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,717
Easy target. Big, doughy scoutmaster,
couple of Cubs, mostly Webelos.
266
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,150
What kind of score?
267
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,350
Hot dogs, buns, s'mores.
I mean, it's a freaking 7-Eleven.
268
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,291
- All right. Everyone grab flashlights.
- Okay.
269
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:43,559
Oh, my God. Could it be? Yes!
270
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,398
My mother put an "I love you" brisket
in my backpack!
271
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,335
- Quick, get forks.
- Don't need forks.
272
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,635
It's so tender, it falls apart in your hands.
273
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,974
- He's right.
- Yes.
274
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,988
I feel like
we're forgetting something important.
275
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,556
Me too, but what?
276
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:12,691
Maybe a Tupperware bowl
of roasted potatoes and carrots?
277
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,355
LEONARD & RAJESH:
Yes!
278
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,092
Yes!
279
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,436
Now remember...
280
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:24,736
...you were given powerful
pain medication and a muscle relaxer...
281
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,380
...so don't operate heavy machinery.
282
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,683
Try not to choke on your own drool.
283
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,383
Wait. You have to help me get into bed.
284
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,127
Sheldon has to get me into bed.
285
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,457
Bet you never thought I'd say that.
Ha-ha-ha.
286
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,399
Yes.
287
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,734
The charm of your drug-addled candor
knows no bounds.
288
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,409
You know, people think
you're this weird robot man...
289
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,811
...who's so annoying all the time,
and you totally are.
290
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:08,617
But then it's like that movie Wall-E
at the end.
291
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,451
You're so full of love
and you can save a plant...
292
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,459
...and get fat people
out of the floaty chairs.
293
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:21,624
That's a fairly labored metaphor,
but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.
294
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:25,827
Sing "Soft Kitty" to me.
295
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,739
"Soft Kitty" is for when you're sick.
You're not sick.
296
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:35,903
Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.
297
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:50,618
Soft kitty, warm kitty
Little ball of fur
298
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,287
Wait, wait. Let's sing it as a round.
299
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,990
I'll start.
300
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:03,803
Soft kitty, warm kitty
Little ball of fur
301
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,677
See, that's where you come in.
I'll start over.
302
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:15,515
Soft kitty, warm kitty
Little ball of fur
303
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,791
I've got all night, Sheldon.
304
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,830
Soft kitty, warm kitty
305
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,160
- Little ball of fur
- Soft kitty, warm kitty
306
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:31,667
- Little ball of fur
- Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
307
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,863
- Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
- Purr, purr, purr
308
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:39,137
Purr, purr, purr
309
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:51,546
And the next morning when he woke up,
he rolled over and realized...
310
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,658
Da, da, da!
311
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,188
- -she was his cousin.
312
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,904
That's still not funny.
313
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,938
"That's still not funny."
314
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,409
And she was my second cousin.
315
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,071
"And she was my second cousin."
316
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,611
You're a real douche.
317
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,852
Who cares? You slept with your cousin.