1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,965
Wow, Sheldon, cannot believe
you made up your own game.

2
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:10,837
Oh. Research Lab is more than a game.

3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,239
It's like the slogan says:

4
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:16,508
"The physics is theoretical,
but the fun is real."

5
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,682
We must not be playing it right.

6
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:24,683
All right. Five.
One, two, three, four, five.

7
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,086
Oh, wow, look at that.

8
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,093
My Department of Defense
research grant is renewed.

9
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,924
Oh. Great roll.

10
00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:33,862
Now you can demolish
your Soviet-style cyclotron...

11
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,026
...and build the large hadron collider.

12
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,069
Yay.

13
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,198
You're a natural at this, Penny.

14
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,003
And as the first beta testers,
you two have quite the edge...

15
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,907
...when we play with Wolowitz
and Koothrappali on Sunday.

16
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:51,039
Oh, gee, Sheldon,
I don't think we can play on Sunday.

17
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,446
Why not?

18
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:56,555
Because of the reasons
that Penny will now tell you. Penny?

19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,055
I have to pick up my friend Justin
from the airport.

20
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,558
There you go.
She has to pick up her friend Justin.

21
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,889
And I can't play
because I'm going with her. Right?

22
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,396
Uh, yeah, if you want.
There may not be room.

23
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:09,536
He's got a lot of stuff, like guitars
and amplifiers.

24
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,433
Wait. What are you talking about?

25
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,698
My friend Justin.

26
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:16,638
Pay attention, Leonard.
That's why she can't play on Sunday.

27
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,401
- Who is this Justin?
- Your turn.

28
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,410
- I told you about him.
- Roll the dice.

29
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,049
Yeah. My friend from Omaha,
plays the guitar.

30
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:24,945
He's coming
looking for session work.

31
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,245
So I told him
he could crash on my couch.

32
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:31,585
Come on. Roll a six, Penny dies horribly
in a nuclear meltdown.

33
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,255
See what I mean
when I say the fun is real?

34
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,997
Hang on. Some guy
is gonna be sleeping on your couch?

35
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,600
He's not some guy. He's my friend.

36
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,896
So by friend, do you mean
"friend" friend...

37
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,768
...gay friend, or "ex-boyfriend
you're now platonic with...

38
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,341
...but still might have a thing for you"
friend?

39
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,143
Well, he's definitely not gay.

40
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:57,409
Oh. A definitely-not-gay musician
sleeping on my girlfriend's couch.

41
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,313
Yippie.

42
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:02,455
Okay, we went out a little bit
a long time ago.

43
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,591
But we were never, like, going out.

44
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,692
Okay. Not to be pedantic,
the last I checked...

45
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,454
..."went out" was the past tense
of "going out"...

46
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,791
...which I think we all know
is a popular euphemism...

47
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,195
...for saw each other naked.

48
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,326
I'll just roll for you.

49
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,368
You have a problem
with Justin staying with me?

50
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:21,973
What was your first clue?

51
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,940
Uh-oh. Industrial accident.

52
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,503
Know what?
Don't talk to me like an idiot.

53
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:31,447
I'm not talking to you like an idiot.
I'm saying the whole idea is idiotic.

54
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:36,487
"You accidentally stare at a helium-argon
laser. Lose one turn and a retina."

55
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,648
How's that not talking to me
like I'm an idiot?

56
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,521
It's my friend, it's my couch
and it's my freaking life.

57
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,322
It's also your roll.

58
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,359
You know what? It is your life.

59
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,330
If you wanna have some stupid guitarist
stay on your couch, fine!

60
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,630
Why don't you just rent bunk beds
and invite the Black Eyed Peas?

61
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:56,208
Hey, if I wanna invite the line-up
of Lollapalooza to my apartment, I will.

62
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,707
It's none of your business.

63
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,312
Do you know how childish you sound
right now?

64
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:04,678
- Oh, now I'm a child. Not an idiot anymore.
- Hey, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

65
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,341
Oh, you are such a...

66
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,552
- What the hell is he doing?
- Drowning us out. He doesn't like fighting.

67
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,249
Sheldon, just stop.
Look, the fight is over.

68
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,555
Oh, and FYI. You never even heard
of the Black Eyed Peas...

69
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,754
...until you met me.

70
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,058
I heard of them.

71
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,430
I didn't know they were a band.

72
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,037
Sheldon, she's gone.
You can turn off the blender.

73
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,341
Has your relationship reached
its inevitable ugly end?

74
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,115
No, we just had a little spat.

75
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:44,382
Look on the bright side.
As a result of Penny's forfeit...

76
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:48,927
...you have become
the world's first winner of Research Lab.

77
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,894
Would you like a commemorative
snow cone?

78
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,555
I don't get how she can just announce...

79
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:23,992
...that an old boyfriend is gonna sleep
on her couch.

80
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,598
Hey, I thought of a game
we can play in the car.

81
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,132
I don't wanna play a game, Sheldon.

82
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,429
It's called Scientists.
Now, I will name three scientists...

83
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:35,473
...you'll put them in order of the size
of their contribution to their fields.

84
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,405
To make this game
even more compelling...

85
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:40,910
...you must consider only the
contribution of the man to the field...

86
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,015
...not the validity of the field itself.

87
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:45,413
For example,
Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayyan...

88
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:48,918
...made a greater contribution
to the discredited field of alchemy...

89
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,455
...than Halbert Vanderplatt
made to neurobiology.

90
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,525
Okay. Ready to have some fun?

91
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,854
An old boyfriend
who's "definitely not gay."

92
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,863
You know, that's what a guy
likes to hear. "Definitely."

93
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,625
All right, I'll start with an easy one.

94
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,602
Um, Isaac Newton, Madame Curie
and Niels Bohr.

95
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:09,105
And then I say one little thing
and I end up being the bad guy.

96
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,439
Hint. Madame Curie had her husband
to help her.

97
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:13,874
What am I supposed to say?

98
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,278
"Sure, Penny. I'm cool with your old
boyfriend sleeping in your apartment."

99
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,044
"It doesn't matter if you're cool or not.

100
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,348
Because I'm Penny, I'm pretty
and I can do whatever I want."

101
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:27,186
"You think you're doing
a favor by being in a relationship with me."

102
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,557
"No. I'm doing you
a favor by being in the same room as you."

103
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,129
Leonard, stop the car.

104
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,625
What?

105
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,235
I can't listen to the two of you fight
anymore.

106
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,006
- Come on. We're late.
- Calm down. We'll make the movie.

107
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,978
I believe my alarm is appropriate.
The movie starts in 17 minutes.

108
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,811
We'll need to make all the lights
on Colorado Boulevard.

109
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,886
Plus, skip the concession stand
and pre-show urination.

110
00:05:55,822 --> 00:06:00,521
Oh, dude, I wish you had said something
before I pounded that last Red Bull.

111
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,356
Go. Go, Power Rangers, go.

112
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,724
- Hey.
- Hey.

113
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:10,768
- We're, uh, going to the movies.
- No, we're not.

114
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,030
We're standing in the hallway,
suffering through an awkward encounter.

115
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,675
Hang on.

116
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,612
<i>They're showing a digital Time Bandits.
You wouldn't wanna come, would you?</i>

117
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,248
Not really, no.

118
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:26,112
All right. Invitation pointlessly offered,
declined as expected.

119
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,449
Everyone's civil, nobody's fighting.
Have a nice evening.

120
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,217
Just give us a minute?

121
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,418
Take all the time you need.

122
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,860
So are we gonna talk about last night?

123
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:44,799
- Are you ready to apologize?
- No.

124
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,804
Ehh! Wrong answer.
But thank you for playing.

125
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,737
Come on. This is stupid.

126
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,140
Oh, there it is again.
You think I'm stupid.

127
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,042
No. There's a difference
between being and acting stupid.

128
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:59,208
Oh, yeah? Well, there's a difference
between being a jerk and being an ass.

129
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,651
No, there isn't. They're synonyms.

130
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,752
Well, that was rather unpleasant.

131
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:10,961
Yeah. I don't think I need
my pre-show urination anymore.

132
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,490
Leonard, when that woman moved in
three years ago...

133
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:18,604
...I told you not to talk to her.
Now look, we are late for the movies.

134
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,236
<i>Hey, look Amazing Spider-Man 193.</i>

135
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,743
Got it.

136
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,844
Remember this one?
Spider-Man loses a big fight...

137
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,348
...and then his girlfriend breaks up
with him.

138
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:39,083
You want me to get it for you?
It will help take your mind off things.

139
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,184
Hey, guys. What's going on?

140
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,955
Ah, we need to kill a couple hours
until the next showing.

141
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,654
Oh, well, no problem.

142
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,993
I was thinking of closing early,
and going home...

143
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:53,299
...but let's face it, that's just a smaller
lonely room filled with comic books.

144
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,168
Thanks, Stuart.

145
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,302
Let me ask you.

146
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,709
Do you think it's okay to have
an ex-boyfriend sleep on her couch?

147
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,849
- She's obviously way out of line.
- Thank you.

148
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,111
But if she dumps you,
she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow...

149
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,620
...and you'll have a new girlfriend
when you figure out how to build one.

150
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,786
So the only question is,
how long until you fold?

151
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,293
I am not gonna fold.

152
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:21,560
Well, excuse me. I don't think
Penny's out of line. You don't own her.

153
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,396
It's like my girl Beyoncé says:

154
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,368
"If you like it,
you should've put a ring on it."

155
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:30,904
At the very least, when she found out
Leonard was upset about it...

156
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,807
- ...she should've backed off.
- Like when a guy's upset...

157
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,574
...his friend agreed to take a class
with him and then doesn't...

158
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,583
...because he's doing a juice fast
with his mother?

159
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,078
I didn't know you were upset
about that.

160
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:46,316
Really? Did you miss the subtle indicators?
Like me saying, "Howard, I am upset."

161
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,018
- Okay, sorry.
- Maybe it's different in this country.

162
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,062
Back in India, it means you're upset
with a guy named Howard.

163
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,928
- I said I'm sorry.
- Sorry doesn't make up for the fact...

164
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,569
...I had to make chicken and rice
with this vegan guy.

165
00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:01,605
Do you know
what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice.

166
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:05,176
You think I was having fun? Sitting
around listening to my mother say:

167
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,745
"Have you ever
peed so much in your life?"

168
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:11,543
Oh, my God.
You are such a mama's boy.

169
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,449
- Don't bring my mother into this!
- You brought your mother into this!

170
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,055
Stop it! Both of you!

171
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,953
This fighting, I might as well be back
with my parents.

172
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,890
"I told you if you didn't
quit drinking, I'd leave you."

173
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,794
"I guess that makes you a liar.
I'm drunk as hell and you're still here."

174
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,428
"Stop yelling.
You're making Sheldon cry."

175
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:31,695
"I'll tell you what's making Sheldon cry.

176
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,304
That I let you name him Sheldon."

177
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,248
Boy, what got him so upset?

178
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,976
Oh, sure. You can tell
when Sheldon's upset.

179
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,053
Oh. Thank you very much.
Come back soon.

180
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,456
With the other half of my tip.

181
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,259
Hey, Sheldon.
What're you doing here?

182
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,337
This is a restaurant. It's lunchtime.

183
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:09,407
I'd think as a waitress you'd be familiar
with the paradigm.

184
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,606
- Is Leonard coming?
- No.

185
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:15,305
I believe Leonard is waiting for you
to come back to him and apologize.

186
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,848
- Well, that's not gonna happen.
- I assumed that.

187
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,417
- Hence my true purpose in coming here.
- Which is?

188
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,112
I want you to crawl back to him
and apologize.

189
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:28,591
- I'm busy.
- Excuse me, miss. I'd like to order lunch.

190
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,860
- Fine. What do you want?
- I have a few questions.

191
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,935
First, I notice that you offer
soup and a half sandwich.

192
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,332
- Yes.
- Where exactly...

193
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,531
...does the half-sandwich come from?

194
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,108
Are you giving me half
of someone else's sandwich?

195
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:48,205
Or do I have to wait for someone else
to order the other half?

196
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,474
No. Sheldon, they just make
a half sandwich.

197
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,345
You can't make a half sandwich.

198
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:56,011
If it's not half of a whole sandwich,
it's just a small sandwich.

199
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,817
Okay, fine.
It's soup and a small sandwich.

200
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,359
- Is that what you want?
- Of course not. I'll have my usual.

201
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,526
- Great.
- Aren't you gonna ask...

202
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,063
- ...if I want a beverage?
- Usually lemonade?

203
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:08,291
- Yes.
- Want lemonade?

204
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,560
- Yes.
- Anything else?

205
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,397
Yes. I want you to apologize to Leonard.

206
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,233
I am not going to apologize.
I've done nothing. He's overreacting.

207
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:20,743
Irrelevant. The disruption in your
relationship is making my life intolerable.

208
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,644
Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
but this really isn't about you.

209
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,247
I don't follow.

210
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,917
Yeah. Yeah, I'll be right there.
Look, Sheldon, I have to go.

211
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:33,752
<i>All right. Let's assume ad arguendum,
that in this case Leonard is wrong.</i>

212
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,521
- Leonard is wrong.
- Considering the transgressions...

213
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,561
...you committed
that he's overlooked...

214
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,222
...don't you think that
you could return the favor?

215
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,395
I'm coming. Goodbye, Sheldon.

216
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,105
What do you mean
transgressions I've committed?

217
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,440
Were you under the impression that
Leonard has no complaints about you?

218
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,343
Like what? Yeah, yeah, I see you.

219
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,952
You're making a check sign in the air.
Got it. Just hold your horses.

220
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,389
- What does Leonard complain about?
- Your driving.

221
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,217
The stuffed animals on your bed...

222
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,724
...that stare at him
during your amorous activities.

223
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,690
Your constant tardiness, your singing.

224
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:13,456
- My singing?
- That's from my list.

225
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,067
Leonard'd be a fool
if he didn't agree with it.

226
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,399
Okay, if Leonard has problems with me,
why hasn't he just said so?

227
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,598
According to him, you're over-sensitive
and have a temper.

228
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:27,144
Oh, really? Well, then do me a favor
and tell Leonard that he can drop dead.

229
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:34,709
And she wonders
why she's constantly under-tipped.

230
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,582
- Hey.
- Oh, good, you're home.

231
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,455
- I need you to do me a favor.
- Sure.

232
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,723
- Go apologize to Penny.
- What?

233
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:46,922
Right now would be good.

234
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,097
- Leonard!
- A few minutes ago would've been better.

235
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:55,903
I hear you don't like my stuffed animals,
my driving or my punctuality.

236
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:58,236
Who would tell you
something like that?

237
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,675
Why would you tell her
something like that?

238
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,247
It doesn't matter why he told me.
It's true, isn't it?

239
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,976
Okay, yeah, it's true.
But I can live with that stuff.

240
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,518
What I can't live with
is you casually informing me...

241
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,589
...some guy is gonna be staying
without asking me first.

242
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,352
That isn't even your problem.
Problem is you don't trust me.

243
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,858
Oh, come on.

244
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,260
Sheldon, have you ever once heard me say
that I don't trust Penny?

245
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,332
Sheldon? Where did he go?

246
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,026
Ugh. Your yelling must've
freaked him out again.

247
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,104
Where are you going? You just walk away
in the middle of an argument?

248
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,763
No. I'm gonna find your roommate...

249
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:32,274
...before he hurts himself
trying to cross the street or something.

250
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,469
Why didn't you say so?

251
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,511
Now I need your permission
for that too?

252
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,172
I can't read your mind, Penny.

253
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:41,150
Really? Why not?
You're so smart and I'm so dumb!

254
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,682
Raj. Raj. Raj.

255
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,453
Stop knocking. It's open.

256
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,497
Please tell my parents
that our dark matter research...

257
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,396
...is at a critical juncture. I can't come
for my cousin Sanjay's wedding.

258
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,697
<i>Ask our son what we're supposed
to say to Mr. and Mrs. Chaudri...</i>

259
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:03,638
<i>...whose daughter, Lakshmi, Is flying In
for the sole purpose of meeting him.</i>

260
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,471
I didn't ask you to set me up.

261
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:09,638
<i>- You should be thanking us.
- Yes, Lakshmi got her stomach stapled.</i>

262
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,814
<i>You have an opportunity
to get in with her...</i>

263
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,579
<i>...before she loses weight
and her self-esteem goes up.</i>

264
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,052
I don't care.

265
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:19,657
And why don't you think
I can find a woman for myself?

266
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,657
<i>You're 27, the closest thing
we have...</i>

267
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,661
<i>...to a daughter-in-law
Is that Jewish boy, Howard.</i>

268
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,561
Oh, that is completely below the belt.

269
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,192
Sheldon, tell my parents
that Howard and I are just friends.

270
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,932
Sheldon?

271
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,438
Howard and I are just friends.

272
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,741
Fine. I'll come home
for Sanjay's wedding.

273
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,041
Sheldon.

274
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,684
What are you doing?
He's not a lost dog.

275
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,690
Hey, why don't you just let me find him...

276
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,455
...while you sit there
hitting your imaginary brake?

277
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,361
The brake might be imaginary,
but that stop sign you just ran wasn't.

278
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:05,595
- What stop sign?
- Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road!

279
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,448
Howard, answer the door! I'm busy!

280
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,052
I'm busy too! You answer it!

281
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,814
I can't! I'm on the toilet!

282
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,657
God's sake, I don't need to hear that!

283
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,885
Can't you just say, "I'm busy?"

284
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:32,724
I said, "I'm busy,"
but that wasn't good enough for you!

285
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,265
I hope it's one
of those home invasion deals...

286
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,232
...and they shoot me in the head.

287
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:42,602
Well, if it's a home
invader, don't tell them I'm on the toilet!

288
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,843
There's no one there.

289
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:51,074
You're hearing things,
you crazy old lady.

290
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,116
Hey, Stuart. Have you seen Sheldon?

291
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,190
Yeah.
He's, uh, over in the graphic novel section.

292
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:02,993
Built himself a little nest.

293
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,192
Thank you.

294
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:06,930
- Uh, Penny.
- Yeah?

295
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,363
- Is everything okay?
- What do you mean?

296
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,003
Uh, Sheldon told me you and Leonard
are having a fight.

297
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:15,038
Oh, yeah, kind of. It's no big thing.

298
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,505
Oh, good. Good.

299
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,334
I love you.

300
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,846
I'm not leaving until you talk to me.

301
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,313
- Hey, what's going on?
- It's a little hard to explain.

302
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,010
He pretends
he's in an alternate dimension...

303
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:33,215
...that occupies the same physical space
we're in, but he can't perceive us.

304
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:37,323
Don't flatter yourself.
I'm just ignoring you.

305
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,959
All right, come on, Sheldon,
let's go home. We're done fighting.

306
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:43,465
I've heard that before.

307
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,968
Then the next thing you know,
I'm hiding in my bedroom...

308
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:49,904
...blaring a Richard Feynman lecture,
Mom shouting Jesus would forgive her...

309
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,738
...if she put ground glass
in my dad's meat loaf.

310
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:58,147
And my dad's on the roof skeet shooting
her Franklin Mint collectible plates.

311
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,753
Okay, there's gonna be no more shouting
and no skeet shooting.

312
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,823
Really? Where's your friend Justin
going to sleep?

313
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:10,418
- Yeah, where is he gonna sleep?
- Oh, my God, would you let this go?

314
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:12,655
I'd let it go.

315
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:17,499
Why should I let it go? Why don't you
just tell the guy to find a place to sleep?

316
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,202
Oh, for God sakes.

317
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,873
So you have childhood issues.

318
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,773
We all have childhood issues.

319
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,779
At some point, you just need to grow up
and get past them.

320
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,075
<i>Fire. Fire.</i>

321
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,110
Leonard, let me handle this. Please?

322
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,188
<i>- Fire, fire.
- Look, let... She...</i>

323
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,296
Sheldon, please try and understand.

324
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:49,628
Look, Leonard and I are in a relationship
and occasionally we're gonna fight.

325
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:53,898
But no matter what happens
between us, we will always love you.

326
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,307
Right, Leonard?

327
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,801
Always is a long time.

328
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,815
Sure. Always.

329
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:08,283
You know, how about we buy you
this robot and then we all go home?

330
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,946
I want that one.

331
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:13,084
Okay, you can have that one.

332
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,750
Oh, come on.
He's just gonna play with it twice...

333
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,295
...and then it'll end up in his closet
with all the other junk.

334
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,498
Buy him the robot, Leonard.

335
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,763
- Can I get this comic book too?
- Yes, you can.

336
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,105
We meet again.

337
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:46,188
So, what did Justin say when you told him
he couldn't sleep on your couch?

338
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,489
He's a musician.
He'll sleep in his own vomit if he has to.

339
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:04,099
I should have asked for much more
than a comic book and a robot.