1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,962
<i>Goin' out tonight</i>

2
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,038
<i>I'm feelin' all right</i>

3
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:10,734
<i>Gonna let It all hang out</i>

4
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,072
<i>Wanna make some noise</i>

5
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,714
<i>Really raise my voice</i>

6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:18,374
<i>Yeah, I wanna scream and shout</i>

7
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,385
<i>Unh! No...</i>

8
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,822
Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.

9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,718
No.

10
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:31,896
Why not?

11
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:35,501
Penny, while I subscribe
to the Many-Worlds theory...

12
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:39,105
...which posits the existence of infinite
Sheldons in an infinite number...

13
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:43,573
...of universes, I assure you
that none of them am I dancing.

14
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:47,078
Are you fun in any of them?

15
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,678
The math would suggest that in a few,
I'm a clown made of candy.

16
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,050
But I don't dance.

17
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,524
- All right, want some French toast?
- It's oatmeal day.

18
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,953
Tell you what, next French toast day,
I will make you oatmeal.

19
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:06,622
Dear Lord, are you still going
to be here on French toast day?

20
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,029
Morning.

21
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,038
Look, Leonard,
Penny made French toast.

22
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,403
Sorry, I haven't given her
your schedule yet.

23
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,775
It's an iCal download.
She can put it right in her phone.

24
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,114
And we agreed you'd have
conjugal visits in her apartment.

25
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,248
We did, but there
were extenuating circumstances.

26
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:32,324
I see. Did her abysmal housekeeping
skills finally trump her perkiness?

27
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:37,727
No, her bed kind of broke.

28
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:43,265
That doesn't seem likely.
Her bed's of sturdy construction.

29
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,905
Even the addition
of a second normal-sized human...

30
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:50,669
...wouldn't cause a structural failure,
much less a homunculus such as yourself.

31
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:52,639
A homunculus?

32
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,078
Perfectly formed miniature human being.

33
00:01:56,650 --> 00:02:00,450
Oh, you're my little homunculus.

34
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,012
Don't do that.

35
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:05,124
Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup
and who wants cinnamon sugar?

36
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,317
- I want oatmeal.
- Yes, well...

37
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,122
...I want a boyfriend whose roommate
isn't a giant pain in the ass.

38
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,755
- Ha, ha.
- I'm sure that will happen soon enough.

39
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,197
But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.

40
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,696
You know what? I give up.
He's impossible.

41
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,967
I can't be impossible, I exist.

42
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,307
I believe what you meant to say is,
"I give up. He's improbable."

43
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,721
Sheldon, you need to find
a better way of dealing with Penny.

44
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,481
What am I supposed to do?

45
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:41,992
Eat French toast on a Monday?
Now, that would be impossible.

46
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,388
I'm saying you can catch more flies
with honey than vinegar.

47
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,859
You can catch even more flies
with manure. What's your point?

48
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:50,827
It's a...

49
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,500
Boy, that does smell good.

50
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,839
Too bad it's Monday.

51
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,107
Kim, the night manager,
went on maternity leave...

52
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,039
...and her husband's name is Sandy.

53
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,612
So get this, her replacement
is a woman named Sandy...

54
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,908
...whose husband's name is Kim.

55
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:44,112
- Wow.
- I know. What are the odds? Oh.

56
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:48,591
Easily calculable. We begin by identifying
the set of couples with unisex names.

57
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,094
We eliminate those unqualified
for restaurant work:

58
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,789
the aged, the imprisoned
and the limbless, for example.

59
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,798
- Next, we look at the...
- Sheldon.

60
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,969
It's an amazing coincidence.
Can we leave it at that?

61
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,073
I'm sorry.

62
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:07,737
Oh, Penny, it's as if the Cheesecake
Factory is run by witches.

63
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,616
Oh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think
I'll punch you.

64
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,122
Come on, you guys. Let it go.

65
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,985
Fine, whatever.

66
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,956
Are you finished?

67
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:24,097
Well, thank you. How thoughtful.

68
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,232
Would you like a chocolate?

69
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,833
Um, yeah, sure.

70
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,828
Thanks.

71
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,243
What was that?

72
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,669
You said be nice to Penny.

73
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:44,010
I believe offering chocolate to someone
falls within the definition of "nice."

74
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:48,151
It does. But in my experience, you don't.

75
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,689
There are more things in heaven
and Earth, Horatio...

76
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,792
...than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

77
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,657
Yeah, now, that's you.
Obnoxious and insufferable.

78
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,972
What's going on, day dwellers?

79
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:11,868
Oh, man, did the KISS Army repeal
"Don't ask, don't tell"?

80
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:16,339
No. Raj and I are going to a goth club
in Hollywood...

81
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,507
...to hang with the night people.

82
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:20,875
Wanna come along?

83
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,522
Oh, wow, you're actually going out
like that?

84
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:27,319
No, ha, ha. No. I'm going out like this.

85
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,057
Howard, what did you do?

86
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,699
They're called tattoo sleeves. Look.

87
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,000
Yeah, I bought them online.
Raj got a set too.

88
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,064
Fantastic, right?

89
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,234
Put them on, have sex with some girl
with her business pierced...

90
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,904
...take them off, and I can still be buried
in a Jewish cemetery.

91
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,011
You know, I've always wanted
to go to a goth nightclub.

92
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,086
- Really?
- Buzzinga.

93
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,717
None of you ever see
my practical jokes coming, do you?

94
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:05,331
Okay, how about you two?
Look, I got some extra tat sleeves.

95
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,393
Why are you carrying extras?

96
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,400
In case I snag one
on someone's nipple ring.

97
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,038
Yeah, I think we'll pass.

98
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:18,072
Oh, is the missus speaking
for the couple now?

99
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,103
In this case, you bet she is.

100
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:28,448
Ahh. Yes, she's pushy and, yes,
he's whipped, but that's not the expression.

101
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:35,857
Come on, I wanna stop at Walgreens
and pick up some more eyeliner.

102
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,761
They're gonna get beaten up at that club.

103
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,927
They're gonna get beaten up
at Walgreens.

104
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,940
Oh, sorry, Sheldon.
I almost sat in your spot.

105
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,747
Did you? I didn't notice.

106
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,746
Have a chocolate.

107
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,750
Thank you.

108
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,161
I think we're fitting in quite nicely.

109
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,637
It'd help
if you weren't drinking light beer.

110
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,832
Well, what's so gothic
about vodka and cranberry juice?

111
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,341
Hello? It looks like blood.

112
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:29,004
Did you even read the wikiHow link
I sent you on being goth?

113
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,510
No, I'm behind on my wiki reading.

114
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,518
I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick
right now.

115
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,116
<i>- What?
- I finished reading The Pelican Brief...</i>

116
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,850
<i>...and loved it so much,
I dived right into The Client.</i>

117
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:44,360
He was a lawyer himself, so his novels
are accurate as well as entertaining.

118
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:50,334
Just remember, we are lost boys.
Children of the night.

119
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:54,030
Great. Lost boys, children of the night.
Got it.

120
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,339
Can you pass the Chex Mix, please?

121
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,540
Thank you.

122
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,215
We are lost boys.

123
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,552
Good for you.

124
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:13,557
I'm actually much more lost than he is.

125
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:15,953
Nice ink.

126
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,563
Thanks.
Can we buy you ladies a drink?

127
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,026
Two light beers.

128
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:26,168
Light beers. Well, wikiHow about that?

129
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,864
What's your names?

130
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,372
- I'm Howard.
- Raj.

131
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,510
- I'm Bethany.
- Nice to meet you, Bethany.

132
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,009
Yes, very nice.

133
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,703
Nice to meet you too.

134
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:38,408
I'm Sarah. Not that anyone cares.

135
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:45,247
Do either of you ladies enjoy the novels
of John Grisham?

136
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,736
What's this cartoon called again?

137
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:59,565
<i>Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.</i>

138
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:04,099
And it's not a cartoon, it's anime.

139
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:08,513
Anime. You know, I knew a girl
in high school named Anna May.

140
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,010
Anna May Fletcher.

141
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,952
She was born with one nostril.

142
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:19,114
Then she had this bad nose job
and basically wound up with three.

143
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,562
You're here a lot now.

144
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,565
Oh, am I talking too much? I'm sorry. Zip.

145
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,795
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

146
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,136
Chocolate?

147
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,138
Yes, please.

148
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,713
- Oh. Hey, Kim.
- Ahh.

149
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,078
Yeah, I...

150
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,085
You know what? Hold on.
Let me take this in the hall.

151
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,118
<i>Chocolate?</i>

152
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,157
<i>Thank you.</i>

153
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,823
You'll never guess who they got
to replace you at work.

154
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,763
Okay.

155
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,467
I know what you're doing.

156
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,798
Really?

157
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,965
Yes. You're using chocolates
as positive reinforcement...

158
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,306
...for what you consider correct behavior.

159
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,143
Very good.

160
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,678
- Chocolate?
- No, I don't want any chocolate.

161
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:29,789
Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend
like a lab rat.

162
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,831
Actually, it turns out I can.

163
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,192
Well, you shouldn't.

164
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,996
Oh, ugh.
There's just no pleasing you, is there?

165
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,537
You weren't happy
with my approach with her...

166
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,972
...so I decided to employ operant
conditioning techniques...

167
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,840
...building on the works of Thorndike
and B.F. Skinner.

168
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,777
Next week, I believe
I can have her jumping out of a pool...

169
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,713
...balancing a beach ball on her nose.

170
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:56,355
No, this has to stop now.

171
00:10:56,523 --> 00:11:00,516
I'm not suggesting we really make her
jump out of a pool.

172
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,490
I thought the "buzzinga" was implied.

173
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:07,862
I'm just tweaking her personality,
sanding off the rough edges, if you will.

174
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,059
No, you're not sanding Penny.

175
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:14,901
Are you saying that I am forbidden
from applying a harmless...

176
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:18,235
...scientifically valid protocol
that will make our lives better?

177
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,205
Yes, you're forbidden.

178
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,406
Bad Leonard.

179
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,759
So, what do you guys do?

180
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:40,991
Oh, you know, goth stuff.
Goth magazines, goth music.

181
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,600
Goth food.

182
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,767
What's goth food?

183
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:49,537
Uh... Blackened salmon?

184
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:53,102
No, I meant, what do you do for jobs?

185
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:57,238
- Oh, we're scientists.
- Yeah, you know, the dark sciences.

186
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,112
What are the dark sciences?

187
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:04,956
Well, I am an astrophysicist,
and a lot of that takes place at night.

188
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:11,557
When there are vampires
and miscellaneous undead out and about.

189
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,633
That sounds really cool.

190
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:20,364
Does it?
Well, okay, if you like space stuff...

191
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,701
...I designed components
for the space station. Which is in space.

192
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:27,642
Where, as I'm sure you know,
no one can hear you scream.

193
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,647
So, what do you gals do?

194
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,046
I work at the Gap.

195
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,154
Really? How about that?
I've been to the Gap.

196
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:40,315
I've been there as well.
I like your T-shirts with the little pocket.

197
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,992
I work there too.

198
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,391
Not that anyone cares.

199
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,666
You know, this place is boring.

200
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:52,831
Yeah. Why don't we go somewhere else
and have some fun?

201
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,403
- Okay.
- Sure. We like fun.

202
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,836
We are fun people.

203
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,171
Uh, dark and fun.

204
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,973
Come on. I know a place you'll really dig.

205
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,084
- Did you bring the black condoms?
- In my fanny pack.

206
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:08,811
Let's go.

207
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,923
Are you happy now?

208
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,631
Not particularly.

209
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,038
Oh, my God, she didn't.

210
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,933
What could she possibly be talking
about for so long?

211
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,879
Obviously, waitressing
at the Cheesecake Factory...

212
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,516
...is a complex socio-economic activity...

213
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:41,450
...that requires a great deal
of analysis and planning.

214
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,719
Buzzinga.

215
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,724
You know, using positive
reinforcement techniques...

216
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,888
...I could train that behavior out of her
in a week.

217
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,330
- No.
- If you let me use negative reinforcement...

218
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,901
...I can get it done before we go to bed.

219
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,471
You're not squirting her in the face
with water.

220
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,573
No, of course not.

221
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:04,733
We're talking very mild electric shocks.

222
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:08,210
No tissue damage whatsoever.

223
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,742
- Forget it.
- Oh, come on.

224
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,385
You can't tell me
that you're not intrigued...

225
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,420
...about the possibility
of building a better girlfriend.

226
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,886
I'm not.

227
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:21,925
Penny's qualities, both good and bad,
are what make her who she is.

228
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,599
You mean like that
high-pitched irritating laugh?

229
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:30,925
Yes.

230
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:34,096
You wouldn't prefer a throaty chuckle?

231
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:36,104
You're not changing how Penny laughs.

232
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,903
No, that would be incongruous.

233
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:42,775
I was going to lower the whole voice
to a more pleasing register.

234
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,610
Ugh, sorry, guys.

235
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,718
That girl is freaky.

236
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,948
- Come again?
- Freaky.

237
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:54,287
- Freaky?
- Yeah, freaky.

238
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,959
Have a chocolate.

239
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,534
Thank you.

240
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,039
Are you seriously
going to deface your body...

241
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:20,151
...just on the possibility you could have
cheap sex with a girl you met in a bar?

242
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,452
Uh, yeah.

243
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,451
What is your mother going to say?

244
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:26,956
She's not gonna see it.

245
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:29,993
She takes my temperature orally now.

246
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:34,492
What are you gonna get?

247
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,830
Well, I can't really decide
between a screaming devil...

248
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:41,496
...this mean little skull,
or Kermit the Frog.

249
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,604
- Kermit the Frog?
- You know:

250
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,006
"Heigh-ho, I'm on Howard's butt."

251
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,341
Get the mean little skull,
and I'll see if I can make him smile.

252
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,008
Yeah, I'd like the mean little skull, please.

253
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,680
What are you gonna get, Raj?

254
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:59,484
With my luck, hepatitis.

255
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,420
Okay, here we go.

256
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,823
Ow, ow, ow.

257
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,429
That's just rubbing alcohol.

258
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,526
I know, but it was cold.

259
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,168
Ow, ow, ow.

260
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,031
I'm putting on the stencil.

261
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,765
- What comes after the stencil?
- This:

262
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,276
Aah! Okay, that's it. No needle.
No pain. No tattoo.

263
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,713
What's the big deal?
You've done this before.

264
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,547
No, I haven't. Look.

265
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:33,385
- I'm sorry. I'm a fraud. He's a fraud.
- We're both frauds.

266
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:36,722
- Yeah, I think I covered that.
- Well, I was summing up.

267
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,528
We're not goth. We're just guys.

268
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,636
Very, very smart guys.

269
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,566
So you were totally scamming us?

270
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,738
Yes.

271
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,536
And I wouldn't blame you
if you walked out of here...

272
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,043
...and never wanted to see us again.

273
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,740
Unless, of course, our bold honesty
has suddenly made us attractive.

274
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,748
Huh? Huh? Anything?

275
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,252
I'm leaving.

276
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,554
I'm leaving too.

277
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,924
Not that anyone cares.

278
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,101
When we tell this story,
let's end it differently.

279
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,240
What are you thinking,
maybe a big musical number?

280
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:34,619
Well, I'm going to make some warm milk
and then turn in.

281
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:38,279
I trust if you two are planning
on engaging in amorous activities...

282
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,448
...you'll keep the decibel level
to a minimum.

283
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,450
Of course.

284
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,289
Thank you.

285
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:49,725
Mm. These are so good. Mm.

286
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,802
Unbelievable.

287
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,107
- What?
- I was just thinking...

288
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,299
...we should probably turn in too.

289
00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,966
Well, my new bed got delivered.

290
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:01,807
If you put it together,
you can stay at my place.

291
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,211
Really? That's a lot of work, and it's late.

292
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,317
Yeah, but we won't have to be quiet.

293
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:08,112
Let's go.

294
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,481
Interesting.

295
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:17,561
Sex works even better than chocolate
to modify behavior.

296
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:22,457
I wonder if anyone else
has stumbled onto that.

297
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,170
Okay, wait, how about this?

298
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,472
We say there were four goth girls.

299
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,241
The two girls in the club had two friends.

300
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:38,644
I like it, I like it.

301
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,844
Did they smell good
despite their goth-like nature?

302
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:45,419
- What's that gotta do with the story?
- Engaging my olfactory sense...

303
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,786
- ...helps make it real for me.
- Fine, they smelled good.

304
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,021
Oh, they did.
Like jasmine and honeysuckle.

305
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,424
- Whatever.
- And they held hands...

306
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,364
...and did a sexy demonic hokey-pokey
for us.

307
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,998
No. Let me say my story all the way,
and then you can say yours...

308
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,004
- ...then we'll pick.
- I'm sorry. Go on.

309
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,269
We got tattoos, and then the four girls
took us to their place.

310
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:09,437
We don't have tattoos. What if someone
asks to see our tattoos?

311
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,046
We say they're in a very intimate area.

312
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,551
Oh, we are bad boys, aren't we?

313
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,690
- Right. Right.
- Yeah. Ha, ha.

314
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:22,555
So we go back to their place,
and then the six of us end up in a hot tub.

315
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:26,960
But we just got tattoos. Wouldn't we be
concerned about bacterial infection?

316
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,895
True. Okay, forget the hot tub.

317
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:34,836
The point is, we each had a ménage
with sexy goth girls.

318
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,069
Wow.

319
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,072
What a great night.

320
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,214
Yeah.

321
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,146
Hey, wanna try a country bar
tomorrow night?

322
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,755
Yeah, maybe we'll get lucky
with sexy cowgirls.

323
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,587
- Could happen.
- Ha, ha.

324
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,057
I wonder how they smell.